What About Socialization?

So funny that this question has come to me again after 10 years of homeschooling! I love it really, because it is a real "soapbox" for me, and I can write about it here on my blog and spare my poor husband of hearing me "expound" on it again! I have a dear friend from high school who is praying and researching about homeschooling their children - they have a precious little son and a new son due next month. They are wonderful parents and love being with their little boy. He is already so bright and happy and they have all the qualifications for making homeschooling an easy transition in their lives. Of course RC Sproul Jr says that the way to find out if you are qualified to homeschool is to wait until 3:00 am and then get up and tiptoe around your house. If you go into a bedroom and find a sleeping child there and if in fact that child belongs to you, then God must feel that you are qualified to homeschool. I have to say I agree, but God has been very busy lately teaching me that everyone doesn't think like I do and that truly some of the things that people do are none of my business. You laugh I'm sure, but this was quite a revelation to me!

Anyway, my friend is pretty convinced of the merits of homeschooling and isn't too concerned about socialization, though if we are honest, it is a topic that has crossed the mind of all new homeschooling parents at least once. Her husband is very open and is willing to learn all he can, but he still needs a little convincing on the socialization issue. She is gathering her books and resources to present her case to her husband. She asked me for some websites and book recommendations and if you know me at all, you know I was happy to oblige! (Remember, she asked!!)

As I began thinking on this topic that I haven't thought of in a number of years, because if you are a homeschooler, you know that though it is the first fear and question when you begin, it is also the first fear dispelled - because, now I spend my time figuring out how to spend more time at home and have my kids spend less time with their friends and the outside activities that threaten every free second we have! Anyway, in my quest to gather information for my friend, I went to dictionary.com and looked up the word socialization. What I found was very thought provoking.

Definition #1 - : the process by which a human being beginning at infancy acquires the habits, beliefs, and accumulated knowledge of society through education and training for adult status

I liked this definition because I feel that what we are about is raising adults. I have no desire to raise children. When I am done, I want my children to be functioning adults. I want them to be sold out followers of Jesus Christ, first and foremost and I want them to be responsible and mature - spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I want them to have knowledge about our society. I want them to be able to interact with people of all age levels, all socio-economic backgrounds. I want them to feel confident and be able to express themselves clearly no matter who they are speaking to. By the time we are done with this journey of education that we call homeschooling, I want to have adults to show for it. I don't believe that government schools have proven that they are up to this task. When I graduated from high school at 17 years old and left for college shortly thereafter, I was not an adult. I was an immature child in an adult body - totally incapable of making wise decisions. I proved over and over in my young life that I was not prepared to be an adult.

Definition #2 To place under government or group ownership or control.

This definition truly frightens me. Mostly, I think, because it is so much more accurate of what socialization really is in our society. In his book A Different Kind of Teacher, John Taylor Gatto says this, "No one believes anymore that scientists are trained in science classes or politicians in civics class or poets in English class. The truth is that schools don't really teach anything except how to obey orders." This from a man who taught in the New York State public school system for many years and won the "Teacher of the Year" award to boot. And that quote is on the first page of the book, it goes on and on as you may imagine. If this is socialization, I will gladly opt out!

Back to our definition, to place under government control. Is that what I want to do with my children? What does God say about children? Many, many things, but here are just a few.

Psalm 127

3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

First, He says they are rewards- from Him! They belong to God, not me. He has given
me the awesome privilege of training them for His glory.

Then, He goes on to make my job as a teacher a whole lot less stressful, because in fact, as Isaiah points out:

Isaiah 54:13:

13And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

I don't even have to worry about my children, because if I am obedient to His commands and view my children as the heritage and the blessing that they are, then He teaches them and they have peace! Wow!

Finally, I think that it is applicable to share from Matthew as well.

21Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.

God expects us to obey the laws of our land as far as conscience will allow, but He expects us to render unto Him the things that belong to Him! My children belong to God. He gave them to me to raise for a time and He expects me to cherish that gift. I will continue to pay my taxes and try to follow the laws of my country, but my conscience would never allow me to render unto Caesar that which belongs to God - namely, my precious children.