Two Decades of Schooling

This is a picture of my husband and me with our first homeschool graduates.  We decided to homeschool when these two were just four years old - yes, they are twins - no, they are not identical (someone wanted to ask, I know it).  I was pregnant with our third child, she will be a Senior this year.

This year begins our 18th year of homeschooling.  When I was a rookie attending my first few homeschool conventions, I looked at people like me and shook my head.  I was committed, but I was young and so naïve.

God has added to our family three more children and we have one on the way.  I will homeschool until I am 57 - and that is if we don't have any more children.  By the time I am done I will log 33 years.  That is a full career.  It comes with no paycheck, no health insurance, and no retirement benefits.  It is many days thankless and every day exhausting - both mentally and physically.  It is all consuming, 24/7, countless hours spent in the car (you didn't really think we did all this work at home, did you??), so much planning.  My husband and I alone have borne the weight of the responsibility of our children's education.  We have had no input from the "professionals."

It has yielded the most amazing results and without a second of hesitation, I would do it all over again.  Heck, I am doing it all over again!!  We have a five year old and a three year old.

Today I want to encourage you Mamas out there who feel like you are not enough.  I am right there with you.  Maybe it is my "veteran" status, or maybe I am just getting old - but I am confident that I know just one thing.  You will always feel inadequate.  Always.

Sorry.  I know that probably wasn't what you wanted to hear, but I have talked to enough Mamas to know it is true.  Those of us with adult children who have made it, still feel inadequate.  Even though in our heads we know that our kids "got it" - they got the lessons we wanted them to learn, and when we are thinking rationally (as we moms do on rare occasions), we know that our next ones will get it too.  Yet, we alone know what we didn't do.  We know what books didn't get read, what awesome curriculum did not get used.  We know what we planned.  What we wanted and longed to accomplish.  We know the vast amount of knowledge we desired to pour into them.  The craft projects, the long walks in the woods, the deep conversations and wisdom we wanted to impart.

We know.

Sometimes I have to remind myself, like a mantra that "education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire."  I say it over and over - and then something awesome happens.  God whispers His secrets to me.

The other day I was cleaning out the school closet in preparation for next year.  Buried under a pile of scribbled on scrap pages and other "art" that abounds when you have a five year old in the house, I found a stack of notebook paper.  Pages and pages of Bible verses my 17 year old had written down.  She is a talented artist and she had decorated the borders and in between the verses with beautiful designs.  There were hundreds of verses.

God whispered to me our family theme verse.  Isaiah 54:13, "All your children will be taught of the Lord, and great will be the peace of your children."

I have this verse on my blog, I have it printed on a family picture we took a few years ago.  It is written on the doorposts of our home.  I memorize it, I quote it -- it is what I need to say like a mantra when things get tough.  These children belong to the Lord.  He called us to this life, and He always always pays for what He orders.  I have only to obey.

So, weary Mamas, a new school year is upon us.  If you are, like me, tired from the start, then remember, you are not alone.  God, who called you, is faithful to complete the task at hand.  And you are running this race alongside many others.  We are here to support you, encourage you, and pick you up when you fall.

Don't try to be perfect, it can't happen and it will only frustrate you.  Don't beat yourself up.  Just today I sobbed to my perplexed husband - I mean SOBBED, out loud.  I said I felt like a failure, that I could not keep up.  That I was behind before I ever started.  That I could not clean up behind all 8 people who live in our house by myself (three of them haven't even been here since May, so they got blamed from 3,000 miles away - poor guys).  That I was sick of being mediocre at everything I attempt.

Friends, I have homeschooled for 18 years and I still have these break downs.  Too frequently, to tell the truth.  My steady, practical husband just gave me a hug, patted my back and asked me if it was "that time of the month."  It infuriates me when he does that - even more when he is right.

So - take heart Mamas!!!  You are doing a great job.  And if you are reading and are not a home schooling mom, you are doing an awesome job too.  Let's never set ourselves in separate "camps" for ANY reason.  We need each other.

Bless you guys!  Carry on.........  

Better Late Than Early

I wish I had been smart enough to coin that phrase, but a man much wiser than I actually wrote a book with that title.  Dr. Raymond Moore, known to many of us as the father of the modern home schooling movement, wrote the book cautioning parents against the dangers of pushing children academically too hard or too early.

I agree 110% with Dr. Moore and I have never agreed more than I do this year.  I want to follow up my last post on home schooling with this one.  Again, my prayer is that it encourages someone, somewhere in your own journey - especially when the journey is bumpy, as mine has been these past five years.

As I said yesterday, my first two pupils children were a teacher's home schooling mama's dream.  They were compliant, they loved learning, and they were easy to teach.  My daughter could read fluently at four.  I did not teach her that.  Her twin brother followed soon after.  I don't remember any tears during the process.  At the time, I had a copy of Dr. Moore's book, and in theory, I agreed with it - but, I was after all, the most competent home schooling mama that ever walked the planet.  Both my kids could read by five!

Soon, I had another baby - and then another.  Those next two were just not cut from the same mold.  My next daughter hated to read.  I can't really say she struggled to learn how, she just refused to practice much, so fluency was hard won.  There were many tears shed during the process.

My next child, a son, is the one who has caused me to bring the book out again and again.  He is the one who has brought me to my knees.  Because of him, I now realize that there is nothing competent about this home schooling mama.  It was God's grace alone that caused my oldest two to be prolific readers at five.  It was certainly not my skill as a teacher.

My Graham has been a challenge from the time he could walk.  Like my other children, he was an excellent baby.  I am terrible at scheduling, so I just nurse my babies on demand and they sleep in our bed.  It generally makes for happy babies, even if Mom is a little tired.  However, from the time he put one chubby foot in front of another, he has been marching to the beat of his own drum.  I don't know what God has in store for him, but I know it is going to be wild and dangerous.  He is fearless, courageous, and has a protective instinct that is unbelievable.  He loves me fiercely, yet of all my kids he can drive me to tears in a second.  Everything is a disaster to him - "over react" in an understatement.

As for "school," it is a nuisance to Graham in every sense of the word.  He simply does not want to be bothered.  Give him a challenge and he is on it.  Give him something to do that is useful and necessary and you will not be disappointed.  Try to give him "busy work" and you will think you have been locked in a cage with a tiger.  He can not abide with boredom or monotony.  He needs to live on a farm - seriously.  He has always had a mind for math, capable of doing pretty difficult problems in his head since he was little.  If I would give him all of his math assignments orally, he would never complain, but making him write down numbers generates a melt down almost every time.

Reading has been our biggest issue.  He just has not been able to make it click.  I honestly believe he has simply not seen any point.  The mantra "better late than early" became my lifeline as he approached ten years old and still could barely read a simple sentence.  I admit I was getting nervous, but I was doing my best not to show it.  Science, he loves - the more explosive the better.  Math, he is good at - even though he fights me on actually writing it down.  I knew he was capable of learning, his memory is phenomenal.  I began to suspect he had a touch of dyslexia and there is no doubt in my mind he is a textbook case of ADHD.  I have never used the letters ADHD to him and just this year we talked about dyslexia and what it is.  I explained that it only means he has to work a little harder.  It is a challenge to overcome, it is not who he is.

  I hate labels.  I want my children to have all the necessary help to thrive, but I know that I know them better than anyone.  I am sure there are real life cases of ADHD and autism and all other ranges of neurological issues, I know plenty of people with precious children struggling with all of these things - but, forgive me for being so blunt - in my opinion, these "issues" are WAY over diagnosed.  We, in America, are drugging our children into oblivion.  Especially our little boys.  God did not create little boys to behave like little girls.  Do you really want you little boy to sit quietly with his hands folded meekly for hours per day?  Apparently, we do because if your son is in a traditional school setting that is exactly what he is expected to do.  Some boys can handle it, but most just can't.  It is not the way they are made.  They are made to conquer, to rescue, to provide, and protect.  They are made to go out and hunt the food, clean the food, and eat the food.  They are made to rescue and protect the ones they love. I want my boys to grow into men.  Our culture has enough adult "boys."

So, we have waited and prayed.  Graham has matured.  He is tough as nails, but at the same time the first of my children to notice when I have a need.  He reads my mind and does his best to console me if I am upset.  He tries to help and ease my burden.  As I type he has just announced that I am to leave the kitchen, he is making home made pizza for supper.  The kitchen is a wreck, much the same as it would be if my husband decided to make home made pizza, but the extra work I will do to clean it up is worth it because he had the heart to want to help.  A few nights ago, my husband had to work late and I wanted to grill chicken for supper.  It is a long standing joke in our family that mom is dangerous when trying to light a grill and my husband decreed years ago that I am not to go near it.  Graham decided that he was going to grill the chicken - and start to finish, he did.  It was the best chicken ever grilled in our house - everyone commented on it - he was so proud of himself.

Seeing my sons grow spiritually and mature into responsible men is my goal.  As I stated previously, academics was never our main focus.  I am much more concerned about their hearts than I am their SAT scores.  However, I said it yesterday, I will say it again, God pays for what He orders.  About six months ago, we all began to notice that Graham was reading billboards as we drove down the road, reading his own menu in a restaurant, and reading the fronts of magazines in the grocery store (that is when I wish they were all illiterate).  He was starting to realize that in the world we live in, you must read.  You must read to drive.  You must read to get a job.  You must read to follow a recipe.  He was beginning to see the point.  Obviously, he had been listening to the many reading lessons we had over the years, because within an amazingly short period of time he went from barely being able to sound out a simple sentence to being capable of reading absolutely anything on our shelf.

He is now fully literate and reads as well as any of my other kids read at ten.  I have to ask myself - would pushing him and making him feel stupid and "behind" have really done any of us any favors?  He reads exactly the same as the others did at the same age.  Exactly the same.  In the long run does it really matter that two of them read at five, one at seven, and him at ten?  I don't think so.

So, if you have a child that is struggling academically, it is very likely that time is all you need.  Not labels, not condemnation - just time.  Boys are hands on - they want to make things blow up and they want to run outside.  It is the way they are wired - it is what your husband really wants to do too, if he is honest.  They will have to grow up one day - let them be boys for a while.

It Is Enough

I haven't written about home schooling lately, but I have had some things on my mind that I think are worth sharing.  Maybe they will be an encouragement to someone reading.

First, yes, we are still home schooling.  That is not likely to change anytime in the future.  Home schooling was one call I heard loud and clear, and on the days I want to throw in the towel, I think back to the day He called.  If I didn't know better, I would assure you that God said it out loud.  Never before or since have I heard Him say something and then I turned to look over my shoulder to see who was in the room.  I wish He spoke so loudly all the time, but that is just not the way He typically speaks to me.  About home schooling, though, He did.  He knew there would be days when the yellow bus beckoned, and I would need the reassurance that I am right where He wants me to be.

When God called us to home school, our oldest, twins, were four years old.  They were sweet, compliant children and one of them could already read.  In fact, they were the type of children that made you feel like a really good parent.  They didn't sneak off a make random messes, they soaked up knowledge like little sponges, they played for hours with just each other and their imaginations and they were thrilled with every new thing I introduced them to.  The first year, we spent our days reading piles and piles of books, taking nature walks and recording our findings in our "nature journals," learning to write their names, going to the zoo and playing house with their new baby sister who had been born just a couple of months before.  She was an excellent baby and at the end of that first year, I was so proud of myself for having this home schooling thing down pat.

Then, the baby started walking and I realized that all children are not cut from the same mold.  Either that or I was seriously losing my touch.

 God blessed me with my two compliant learners first because He knew that if my next two had been first, I would have thrown in the towel, regardless of my calling.  Both of them have fought me every single step of the way.  They don't like to read and they despise anything that resembles "school."  Both of them are very hands on, and the only thing they truly enjoy is a good, explosive science experiment.  They don't want to go to "real" school, they just don't want to do anything that resembles academics.  Our 14 year old is a million times better this year.  She still doesn't enjoy much of anything school related, but she realizes that the time has come to buckle down and so she does accomplish her daily list.  Our 10 year old has come to no such realization.  On top of that we are back in the toddler business, with a very busy two year old in the house.  Much to my immense relief, he loves to sit and listen to me read stacks of books and reminds me a lot of my oldest.  God is being gracious to me in my old age.  He knows that I will be 54 by the time Patrick graduates from high school.  I'm tired just thinking about it.

I have recently been talking to several moms with young children.  Just starting out in their home schooling journey and wondering how in the world they will get it all done with multiple ages to school.

My short answer - you won't.

To elaborate a little - it doesn't really matter in the long run.  When God spoke to me on the issue of home schooling, I had to assume He had a reason.  I now know that part of that reason was to stretch and grow me in ways that could never have happened any other way.  That was only part of it though.  The other part was to raise arrows.  The Psalmist tells us that "children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior."  God gave Stan and me a very important job.  To raise children that have the capability to pierce the darkness.  Phillipians 2:15 says, "that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world."  We are first generation home schoolers, but if Jesus tarries, I pray that our children will carry this torch.  Many home school leaders call my children and their counterparts the "Joshua Generation."  We, their parents, like Abraham and the Israelites, have wandered in the wilderness.  We took our children and "left Egypt" searching for a way to educate them apart from the secular humanism of the government schools that had so shaped us.  We decided we wanted something different for our children.  We wanted them to pierce the darkness that is so enveloping our culture.  We didn't really have a clue what we were doing and for some it was such a new concept that they had to fight in the courts to make it even legal.  They scoured for curriculum and when little was available, they wrote their own and sold it to those of us who came behind them.  We are a resourceful bunch if nothing else.

Now, that first generation of home schoolers are adults, functioning well in society and starting to have families of their own. The next generation is coming.  And they are coming strong.  They are determined, well educated, and steadfast in their beliefs.  If you have ever engaged one of these young people you know that despite what our critics say about us, we have not raised a bunch of weak minded parrots who just copy their parents beliefs with no thoughts of their own.  Believe me when I tell you that my adult children have absolutely no qualms about disagreeing with me on an issue.  They know what they believe, because again, despite what our critics tout, we did not tell them what to think, we taught them how to think.  There is a vast difference.

Home schooling for us has never been about academics.  I have no illusions that I can teach my kids everything in the world they need to know.  No "real" school can do that either - no matter how good the teachers are.  My goal has always been that they follow Jesus, no matter where He leads and that they know how to find out anything they need to know.  I love it when they love learning, but as I have already said, some of mine don't and I just can't force that to happen.  I am still praying that one day the spark ignites, but as long as they are growing closer to Jesus, I am satisfied - overjoyed even.  All I ever truly wanted was children who would follow His call - whether that call leads them to the mission field or the board room or anywhere in between.  I don't care what my children grow up to be, I care who they grow up to be.  I want them to be compassionate, loving, humble.  I want them to have an attitude of service and I want them to be sold out followers of Jesus Christ.  At the end of the day, that is all I will answer for.  That is my ultimate responsibility as their mom.

The bonus is that one on one tutorial is the best method of learning and all of my kids know a lot  - much more than I ever learned in school.  I know this is true because as I have taught them over the years, I have learned almost as much as they have.  They have read thousands of books, and we have spent as many hours discussing those books.  They have grown up involved in politics and learning real life skills every single day.  They have spent their childhood being useful.  They have also had hours and hours to play and imagine and build things.  They have learned to shoot guns and bows and arrows and how to build a play fort.  They have gardened and grocery shopped and learned to bake bread from scratch.  They know how to care for babies and children and how to cook a meal.  They are responsible for their own laundry and they have other responsibilities in our family.  They are prepared for life.

This past year our oldest, the twins, graduated.  We accomplished the goals we set and we called it "done."  Learning has not stopped since they got the diploma.  They still read countless books - like Les Miserable for fun.  They still cook and help with their baby brother and teach Algebra to their younger sister.  They still have responsibilities in our family.

I know some of you are wondering how they fared academically.  I know that our world puts a lot of stock in that type of thing.  SAT scores, GPAs, college admissions.  I also know that for certain careers it is important.  It just wasn't our focus.  To satiate your curiosity though I will tell you that God always pays for what He orders.  He called us to home school.  He knows what my kids' future looks like and what they need to do.  They both did excellent on the SAT and each earned an amazing scholarship to a private university, where they will be freshmen in the fall.  Home schooling did not hurt them academically and for those of you in the midst of multiple age groups, dirty diapers, and never feeling accomplished - I promise you I have been there.  I am still there.  I did not accomplish half of what I planned to do with my oldest.  Not half.  That makes me sad just because of all the fun we could have had with some of the things I planned, but it did not hinder them academically.

Make Jesus your focus.  Nothing else on this earth matters more.  Love your children, read to them, talk to them.  Teach them to cook, have a tea party, and laugh a lot.  I have no regrets about the time I spent with my kids and the time I am still spending with them.  Is it hard?  Absolutely the hardest thing I have ever endeavored.  Is it worth it?  To the moon and back again.

My Two Cents

I don't write about home schooling much anymore.  Not because I am not passionate about it - I am, but as God has broken my heart for the plight of the orphan the last couple of years, He has also led me to be more compassionate towards those who don't think like I do.  I unashamedly still believe with all my heart that home schooling is God's best for a family.  I won't change my mind on that - I just try to give my opinion when I am asked these days, instead of barreling over people.  I have a friend who recently asked and I wanted to share my response to her.  I hope if you have been reading my blog a while, you will find it more gentle and compassionate than you would have several years ago.  God is not finished with me yet!

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Ok, here comes my two cents worth!  (I will warn you, it is long)

The best home schooling advice I ever heard was that home schooling is a marathon, not a sprint and that people will not look at how you started, they will look at how you finish.

What that means to me is that it is more important to have long term goals than a goal to "finish" something today. Sometimes we have BAD days - sometimes (like right now), we have BAD months!  There is a theory in the home school community (no one has ever actually tried it), that you can wait until a child is 16 and then in one school year teach them everything they would have learned in "real school" in twelve -  from an academic perspective.  I believe that with all my heart and I believe that people are entirely too freaked out by the thought of academics when they start home schooling.

If you do not allow your children to sit in front of the tv all day, they will learn something.  It is in their nature.  They will play, they will build with legos, they will use their imaginations, they will draw and write in journals, they will go outside.  They will build relationships with each other and watching you they will learn household skills and life skills.  They don't get ANY of that in school, yet all of that is the best preparation for life.

All of your children will be different.  Some will be great "students" and at least one will make you think that you absolutely are not cut out for home schooling. (I will pray for you that that one will be one of the younger ones, once you are fully committed)  My fourth child tests my limits every single day.  He struggles with reading, he has basically ZERO concentration skills, he disrupts everything in our household.  I don't stress about academics and I fully believe in the "better late than early" method of schooling, so I don't push them to start formal school at five.  It has only been in the last two years that I have really tried to get Graham on some sort of schedule.  He will be 10 in March and most days he drives me to tears.  For the first time in 14 years I have begged God to let me quit.  I am just being honest with you, because I never want to be accused of making home schooling sound like the "fix all" answer.  It is hard.  BUT, I believe with all my heart that it is right.  Crying out to Him about Graham, He finally showed me that Graham's issues would not be resolved in a school setting, they would be exasperated.  He would be teased for his clumsiness, labeled for his reading issues, and angry about it all!  No one would see that he excels in math, he loves his baby brother to pieces (even when he aggravates him), he is very sensitive to my emotions and is a great helper when he feels like he is being useful.  He likes to tackle the really hard jobs and can concentrate when he feels like what he is doing is making a real difference.  These are God given qualities that I know play into who he is going to be as an adult.  School would squash his will and make him bitter.

My older two were model students.  We spent long lazy days reading tons and tons of quality books, taking long walks and drawing and labeling pictures of leaves and bugs.  They were mini-mes and I relived everything I wished school had been for me through their education.  We didn't stress about finishing textbooks, in fact we never used one.  My next daughter Lyndsey was a little tougher.  She doesn't struggle with reading, but she doesn't like it.  School is a box to be checked off for her and that makes it difficult for me because I want it to be a lifestyle.  I have had to tweak my teaching style for her and we have used more textbooks.  Graham....well, I just told you about him.  We muddle through.  I am praying really hard that Patrick starts the cycle over and we can go back to my "dream" method of home schooling, but who knows?  He will be who God wants Him to be.

So, right now our days are an eclectic mix of trying to meet individual needs.  Joshua and Bryce have been working on their own for years, so it is mostly me and the two middles, trying to accomplish something in a day.  If you are a Type A personality, that would probably be hard for you.  I don't have a set "time" for school and I don't make everyone sit down at the table together.  Ideally, we read a couple of chapters of the Bible (usually Pslams and Proverbs) together in the morning, pray together, and work on whatever we are memorizing (right now 1 Corinthians 13, if that tells you anything about recent attitudes).  After that, we just try to move along with our curriculum.  Having a baby in the house makes things more hectic, as you can imagine.  We work hard when he naps and one child will take turns playing with him while I work with another child.  We spend a lot of days at the park with a book and a lot of days just cooking together, learning how to do laundry, and reading.

Joshua and Bryce are seniors in high school.  Even with our laid back style, they are being pursued by several colleges, have really high SAT scores, and made high As in three college classes that they took last year at a local state college in FL.  They can write solid papers, read adult level books, communicate without fear, and they both love the Lord and have decided that instead of going straight to college next year they are going to spend three months interning with a ministry based in Ireland - serving the people and receiving in depth spiritual training themselves.  This is what it was always about.  The outcome - not whether or not we finished our math book.  My younger two, may not be able to say they make As in college or have high SAT scores, but I have learned over the years that they will all be what God created them to be.  My only goal is that they love the Lord and follow where He leads them.  If that is to college fine, if not, that is fine too.  

Our main curriculum is called Sonlight.  (www.sonlight.com)  It is perfect for the child who loves to read or be read to.  I have to tweak it for my two younger ones, but there are many books that I still find very important and we read together.  It covers History and Bible.  They sell separate Science and Language Arts materials, but I have not used those.  For Math I like Math U See, but frankly, I can't stand math, so we just use it and move on.  I like it, but there are plenty of others that are good as well.  For Science I love all of the Apologia materials.  You can find them from elementary up to High School.  For writing I like IEW.  (Institute for Excellence in Writing) - it is easy to teach and the kids like it.  Over the years, we have gotten together and different moms teach a class of about 8 kids.  You can do a 6-8 week IEW course and they like doing it together.

You will find as you get into the home school community that different "classes" will come available as moms use their talents.  My kids always enjoy a brief stint of being taught by someone else with a group and they like it when I teach a class here and there.  We have also been very involved in Speech and Debate training.  I prefer the Institute For Cultural Communicators or ICC (www.instituteforculturalcommunicators.com)  I don't know if there is one in your area or not. I am starting one here in Phoenix for next fall because we don't have one.  It is a great way to teach speaking skills, research and writing skills.  The kids resist at first because public speaking is scary, but they are glad they did it and all of the activities and conferences are so much fun, they usually come on board pretty quickly.

Anyway, I am sorry to go so long.  I can't really talk about it briefly.  To sum it up, home schooling is hard, it is life consuming, and in and of itself will not "fix" every childhood problem.  But, I believe with ALL of my heart that it is God's best for a family and that it is the right thing to do.  I believe that yes, certain children handle school better than others, but I believe that all children thrive at home - with the people who love them the most.  Don't stress about the day to day - set long term goals and re-evaluate them regularly.  Attend a home school convention - every state has them, usually in the summer.  They are encouraging with speakers, vendors, and tons of friendly people to talk to and receive encouragement from.  It is an amazing community of people, committed to giving their children the best possible start in life.  I will never be sorry we chose this lifestyle.  

Plus, if God is calling you to do it, you really don't have a choice.  I know He told me to do it - I swear He said it out loud.  I have never heard anything as clearly as I heard that call 14 years ago.  That keeps me going when it is hard.  I could never disobey a call that was that clear, so even when I want to quit, I know I won't.  

Feel free to ask me ANYTHING.  I love to talk about it (if you couldn't tell) and I promise to be honest. Most things in life that are worth anything are hard.  This is no exception - but, it is worth it.  I can say that especially now that I am two months from being finished with my oldest and I see it bearing the fruit God promised it would.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.

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So, there you have it.  My brutally honest plug for home schooling!  

Be Free!

Galatians 5:1 says, "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."

This weekend at the annual Florida Homeschool Convention the theme of the conference was "freedom." I'm not sure that everyone walked away with that theme, in fact I am pretty sure that no one intentionally named a "theme" at all, but every single year, and this year was our 13th, God gives me a theme. Something that stands out at the conference, certain speakers that just speak to my heart, and something on which to build our new school year.

It is kind of funny because this year I was probably the least excited I have ever been about the conference. That's really weird, because if you know me, you know that this is my favorite weekend of the entire year! I love it! I love the people, who are always kind to my children. I love it when people see me with my baby and say "what number is he?" instead of the typical, "oh my, are these all your children?" I love it that never once have I been asked, "Are you done now?"

It is a relief and it ministers to my heart to be with people who understand me. It doesn't matter that we all look different. That some of us wear "trendy" clothes and make up and some of us wear "prairie" skirts and no makeup and some of us are right in between. What matters is that we are all laboring down the same path of home schooling. Sometimes it is a smooth, almost paved road and sometimes it is uphill both ways with plenty of potholes thrown in. On this particular weekend, I am surrounded by 10,000 compatriots who get this. They get the hard days and they get the joys. They get why we continue on, even when we don't feel like it.

Because, friends, this is the first year in our 13 years of home schooling that I seriously did not feel like it. This is the year that I cried out to God and said, "Really, God? I have to do this for how many more years?" This is the year that I felt like the biggest hypocrite on the planet when rookie home school moms called me for advice and I encouraged them to push through and told them they would have no regrets - homeschooling is the best decision we have ever made for our children. All of that is true. Believe me when I tell you that I told NO lies when I said it is the best decision we have ever made. It is. Believe me when I tell you I have no regrets. I don't.

However, this year has been hard. We have not gotten our "groove on" this year. Maybe it was our new baby, but really it would be unfair to blame it on him. He is the best baby I have ever had, and all of my babies have been good. But, this one naps for hours per day, he has been sleeping all night for months, and he rarely, if ever, cries. No, none of the blame for this year can be placed in his court.

That brings me back to why I wasn't super excited about the conference. I simply haven't been super excited about home schooling this year. Brutal, but that's the truth. Plus, my favorite speakers were not on the list, and I will admit to a moment of pouting about that. I look forward to encouragement from Doug Phillips, Mark Hamby, and RC Sproul, but they were MIA on the conference schedule. So, I went with a little attitude from the beginning.

As God does, though, He spoke to my heart first thing. Walking into the hotel lobby, I immediately remembered why I love this weekend so much. Kids running everywhere. Teenagers holding tightly to their younger siblings, laughing and playing - together. Parents huddled over the schedule, deciding what seminars to attend. Groups of ladies giggling like little girls, sweet fellowship ministering to their weary hearts. I remembered that we do this for reasons higher than academics. There is a calling far more noble than straight As and high SAT scores.

I looked at my children and immediately I knew that God was going to give me something to take home. He is faithful that way.

"I will put my trust in Him. Behold, I and the children God has given me." Hebrews 2:13

With that attitude adjustment, I began to peruse the schedule. Sure enough, He gave me a theme from the very first seminar I attended.

Freedom.

It is the heart cry of every human. We long to be free, both in the physical and the spiritual sense. What I learned this weekend is that our nation is spiraling rapidly down a path of destruction. A path that if carried to the end will land us, and if Jesus tarries, our children and grandchildren in bondage. I also learned that God is raising up warriors for the cause of physical freedom. Patriots, who remember their history lessons and who are teaching them to the next generation. A new generation who is ready and willing to fight for the cause of liberty. For the cause that our Founding Fathers were willing to die for. Our great nation was founded by men whose battle cry was "Give me Liberty, or give me death!" It seems like it has been a very long time in our country since there were men like that around. I learned this weekend that men like that are rising up all over the nation, many of them young men, who in the next twenty years will be our political leaders. I left with hope again for our country. Real hope. Not the kind we were "promised" in the last election, but the kind that only comes with true liberty.

Even more important than physical freedom, though, is spiritual freedom. I attended a seminar entitled Warrior Mother. I did not really know what it was about, but the title intrigued me. I am so glad I went. Beverly Bradley, a speaker I have never heard before, had us all searching our purses for tissues. She spoke such powerful words of truth and redemption over us. It was amazing. She has home schooled for decades and she reminded me of what I already know, but so desperately needed to hear again. When my children grow up and leave my home, the only thing that truly matters is that they know Jesus. Really know Him. Not recite Bible verses, not know all the answers in Sunday School, not attend church. Know Jesus. All the math, languages, and history in the world will not save the souls of my children. Those things will not bring lasting peace and joy. Those things are hay and stubble in the last day. All that remains is the deep, heart relationship with Christ. The even better news is that God is Sovereign over the lives of my children. I do not have to force this relationship with Christ, in fact, I can't force it. What I can do is know Him myself. It does my children no good for me to feed the Bible to them smashed in between History and English. Quite the contrary, that is probably detrimental. For them to know Jesus, I need to know Jesus. I need to ooze the love of God. If I do that and if I relate to them that way, they will see Him and they will want to know Him, too. He said that the greatest commandment is LOVE. Love God and love others. If I can demonstrate that to my kids, then they will get it. They will learn to love - Him, each other, and others that we come in contact with. They will become who God wants them to be - and it makes no difference if they look, dress, and worship with the same style that I do. I am not looking to clone myself, I am looking to raise up warriors for Jesus Christ. Soldiers for His army. Points of light that are not afraid to go anywhere He leads. With Christ at the center of their lives, everything else will fall into place.

That, my friends, is freedom in the truest sense. Freedom at a level that I can only begin to comprehend.

That is what I want more than any earthly thing.

Decisions, Decisions....

I am so convicted lately of how "inadequate" I truly am. I think that overall I am a fairly good mom. My kids seems to love me (and like me most of the time), their friends think we are "cool" (not sure I was going for that, but whatever), and we laugh a lot and have a good time together (except when we don't, but I've blogged about all that before, so I'll leave it for another day).

However, the more I grow in the Lord and want to please Him, the more I realize how far I have to go. I do not subscribe in any way to a "works" mentality. It took years of counseling to get over that implied doctrine that I grew up with. I'm kidding, I didn't really go to counseling over it, but I probably should have. Anyway, I know who I am in Christ and I know that I am complete in His sight. I know that all my good deeds are as filthy rags before the throne.

But....

I also know how much He sacrificed for me. I know that I was created for good works which He prepared in advance for me to do. Furthermore, I want to please Him. I want to do things right. Oh, how often I mess it up.

Right now we are trying to make some decisions about next year's schooling. This year we joined a Classical Conversations Community with the younger two kids. Don't get me wrong, I think CC is a very impressive program. I love the philosophy of Classical education, I totally agree with it, and I am happy with what my kids have learned and accomplished this year.

But....

Here's a newsflash! I do not think that we are "school" type of people. Even for one day a week the whole get out the door, get your homework done, stay out of the house for six hours......UGH! It really has been stressful for me this year and for the kids. Now, I have to decide if the benefits outweigh the stresses. I'm still just not sure they do.

I was reading one of my favorite books the other day in the bathroom (I was watching Patrick play in the tub, not actually using the bathroom - just in case you were wondering). The book is Ten Peas in A Pod by Arnold Pent III. It is not written to make people like me feel completely guilt ridden, but alas, that is pretty much what it does. Why I call it one of my favorite books and continue to pick it up, I don't know. However, the fact that it has ended up in the bathroom may be worth noting.

This book is the true account of the Pent family as they traveled all over the country spreading the gospel. It is hilarious to read some of their adventures with a father who was so driven that he packed up their pick up truck with his eight children and weary wife and set out over the country to who knows where sharing why people should read and memorize the Bible. The guilt part for me is that all eight of those children could recite massive chunks of Scripture on command at very young age, they read through the Bible 8 - 10 times per year as a family, and they all truly seemed to love the Lord and have a soft heart for the lost.

How does that happen?

Honestly, I'm not sure, but I can tell you how it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen sitting in front of a television. It doesn't happen wasting time on material pursuits. It doesn't happen running frantically from one activity to another - even good activities.

Please don't hear me saying that I wish we were the type of family who sits around with our halos on, reading Scripture 12 hours per day. I don't think that is the life we are called to live. I do believe that we need to be out and about in the world, being the change we wish to see. However, I know we could do better than we do. I know that we are innately lazy and we waste too much time. I know that if my kids have the ability to memorize and recite entire movie scripts that they should know more of God's Word by heart. I know that my attitude is not what it should be most of the time.

And I am convicted.

Stan and I are prayerfully considering have an entire year with no outside activities at all. A year of being at home. A year of being out and about in our community, meeting people and being an active testimony. A year of advocating for the orphan as a family, and maybe gaining a new sibling. A year of traveling and meeting new people. A year of learning the practical things that take you through life - sewing, baking, changing the oil in the car, changing a flat tire. A year of making the Word of God our main "textbook."

I could get pretty excited about a year like that. I wonder how excited my kids will be?

It's The Little Things

I'm just going to be honest here. Not that I am not usually honest, but I do typically try to find joy in the little things. Right now, though, the little things are truly stressing me out. I know how much I have to be thankful for, so I feel totally guilty even writing this post, but I also feel like I am going to burst wide open if I don't vent a little.

Life is really getting at me right now.

Baby is teething. I have never had one have quite this hard a time cutting two little measly teeth. He whines, he chews, he screams out, then he whines some more. And if you dare get too near him, he grabs whatever appendage you have put within his grasp and attacks it like a dog on a bone. Let me tell you, those two teeth that he is having such a hard time with, they have sharp little corners that HURT when he bites down!

Graham is Graham. I'm going to start a separate blog about his daily antics. I think we could get our own reality show. He is like a package of fireworks, after you set them off! All day, every day, he only has one speed - EXHAUST MOM! I have never in my life experienced anything like Graham. He is a textbook case of every hyperactivity disorder that any doctor on the planet could dream up. The problem is, I would be the biggest hypocrite on the face of the earth if I medicated my son - so I don't. I have to tell you though, it is sorely tempting. So is the big yellow school bus - since I'm being honest and all. Schooling Graham takes every ounce of patience that I can muster up. He is bizarrely smart in Math - grasps a concept and has it down almost immediately. His memory is almost photographic. He can remember dates, songs, and concepts after hearing them only once. Reading and writing however, produce a torrent of tears and anger - every, single, solitary day. I will be honest, it is wearing me down. I am already tired from getting up at night with baby, I quit drinking caffeine, and I have been detoxing since my health scare. So, I frankly do not have enough energy to come close to keeping up with Graham these days.

Lyndsey is about to turn 13. Enough said. Her moods are about as wacky as mine are once a month. Not a good combination.

Joshua and Bryce have always been my lowest maintenance children. At just two weeks shy of 17, they pretty much still are. Bryce can certainly get moody from time to time (can't we all?) and Joshua needs some prodding most days to get going on his responsibilities. Overall, though, on a daily basis, they do not add to my physical strain. Sometimes the stress they have in deciding their future plans causes me emotional anxiety. I feel for them as I remember this most difficult time of life. I spend a lot of time in prayer for them, their plans after graduation, and their future spouses.

Anyway, all that to say, life is hard sometimes. Even when there is nothing major wrong in your life. Even when all of your "stresses" are due to the blessings God has given you. Believe me, I know how blessed I am and I am not complaining about my life. I'm just simply stating that I am tired. I rarely say I need a break - I truly enjoy most being with my husband and kids. I am not one of those moms or wives who needs a "girls night out" once a week. If you are, that is fine - I have no soapbox on that - I just don't. Right now, however, for the first time in years and years, I can say that I would be so grateful for a day or two away. If I were to be completely honest, I would say by myself sounds really, really good - but, I know that hubby and I really need some time away together, too. It has been a full year since we had even a night away alone. We typically try not to let that happen, but this past year, life just kind of got away from us.

Anyway, sorry to vent on you guys. If you are still reading, thanks for sticking it out. That is really all I have to say!

Homeschooling: Why Are We Here??

I have to admit, I had a bit of a melt down yesterday. My kids would call it more than a melt down, but I think that is sufficient. Mondays are long days for us because we have started participating in a Classical Conversations co-op this year. We have done co-ops over the years, but they have been mostly for fun. Short 3 hour mornings out of the house, interacting with other kids, learning together, and coming home at lunchtime for a nice long nap. (For Mama, of course). CC is a little different. It is lots of fun, don't get me wrong, but it is intense academically. The day is 9-12 for my youngest, but my 12 year old is in class from 9-3. Her last two hours are jam packed with Grammar and Writing. You can imagine the thrill of a classroom of 20 students learning the difference in transitive and intransitive verbs. I have a college degree in English and much of this stuff is new to me!! This is the elementary class - ages 9-12. Next year, my daughter will be in the "middle school" class and it is 8:30-3:30. The first day of class this year they had to draw a map of the United States, labeling all the states, capitals, and rivers -- free hand! As in, no outline provided. By the end of the year, they will be able to map the entire world by the same format. I would like a comment from any of you who are capable of that feat. I know I'm not.

Anyway, after the first few weeks of class, I really had to ask myself why we are participating and what I truly think is important. Classical education I have already talked about on my blog, so I won't reiterate it. I think it is the best model for learning and retaining. This curriculum that CC has put together is fabulous. But, it is hard, hard work. Plus, the days are long and we have an infant. I am not allowed to leave the campus while the kids are in class, which is fine with me. I would actually prefer to be in the class with them, which moms are encouraged to do. However, that is not usually feasible with a baby. He is just so darn cute that he attracts most of the attention when we enter the room. Plus, this particular little bundle of joy does not sleep except at home, in our bed. Therefore, Mondays are pretty much torture for me because he is so exhausted by noon, and we still have three more hours to go!

Back to questioning myself......I do that a lot, you know. What is really important in our home school journey? In other words, why are we doing this? I had come to the conclusion, not just yesterday, but years ago, that we are only in this for the glory of God. If there is no godly reason why we memorize the countries of the USA, then why should we bother? Yesterday, I needed a reminder of why I do what I do, because quite frankly, sometimes I feel like I am plodding down this road with four really heavy weights tied to me (those would be the children that do not want to do their work, that argue and complain and do not in any way appreciate the sacrifices I make for them!). Then, I realized the absolute selfishness of my pity party because, with the same measure that I used to decide why they need to learn certain things, I can also get the answer for why my husband and I decided to home school them in the first place. It is not about me and my sacrifices! There's the shocker, right? It is not about whether or not I could have had a career or at least about why I could have been spending my mornings on the tennis court and "doing lunch" with my imaginary friends. No, I do this for one plain and simple fact. God told me to. I don't say very often that God told me anything, because sometimes I am so confused with all the glitz and noise of the world coming at me, that I am not sure at all how to distinguish His voice from all the others. In the area of home schooling, though, I am positive, beyond any shadow of a doubt that He spoke clearly on the subject. I remember the moment, I remember where I was, and I literally turned around to see if someone was in the room with me. If I didn't know better, I would tell you He said it out loud! No joke. I keep that at the forefront of my mind every time the school bus looks too inviting. God, the Creator of the Universe, the great I AM - he told me to do this, and do it I will, unless He tells me any different - which I honestly do not anticipate.

Back to my melt down. I came in yesterday afternoon, baby screaming, other kids tired. My older kids are home doing online classes on Mondays, so they were here. The house was pretty clean, but the things that were strewn around just jumped up and knocked me over the edge. I just could not take the thought of dealing with the baby, cleaning up, cooking dinner, etc..... My older two bore the brunt of my melt down. They got the lecture about the fact that they are juniors in high school now and it is time to grow up. Here's the thing though, my older kids are awesome!! They are amazingly mature - spiritually and mentally. They are brilliant. They have far surpassed anything I could teach them, so I can take no credit for that. They read constantly, they are talented and they love the Lord. Really, what more could a mom ask? Well, I guess on "melt down" days, this mom could ask that they clean house, wash laundry, feed the animals, and cater to my pity party -- on top of college level Latin, Shakespeare, and Tolkein online classes, plus Honors Math, seminary level Bible Class, Writing, volunteer work, tennis, etc..... Yeah, I don't really expect a whole lot, do I?

So, there you have it. I lost it - I apologized. We have moved on. Then, this morning, as God would have it, one of my favorite bloggers wrote the post I needed to start my week over. I love this book she quotes from. I have read it many times, but quite obviously, I need to read it again. It puts it all back into perspective. Read it here:

Homeschooling: What Are We to Teach Our Children?

Oh, and in case you're wondering how God helped me figure out how mapping the world brings Him glory, He led me to pray over every country or city that we put on the map. For instance, the past three weeks the younger ones are mapping the European countries, so every day we have been praying for revival in France, Spain, Italy, England, and the Czech Republic. We have been praying for the missionaries there and praying that God would send workers into those countries to share about a true relationship with Jesus Christ. Now, our map work has a purpose. We are learning about the big, big world that our God created and learning that it is filled with men, women, and children that He loves - just like He loves us.

We are back, and it is going to be a good week.

School Daze

Some mornings I feel like I am in a daze. The night has been long; a full night's sleep is a thing of the past, and I don't really think one is coming in the foreseeable future. Now, "school" has started. I really don't like the term "school" because that is not what we are about. We are about education, and there is a HUGE difference. School is learning to follow rules and orders, memorizing what is in your book just long enough to regurgitate it for a test, and turning your mind from one subject to the next at the ringing of a bell (kind of like a trained lab rat can do). I went to school and I have no desire for my children to repeat that 13 year process.

Education, however, is learning to love learning. Lighting a spark of interest in a child's heart and seeing their faces light up as they realize they can do something on their own. Guiding them toward the bent that God put inside their hearts and then letting them take it from there. Facilitator, rather than teacher. My kids teach me way more than I will ever teach them anyway.

This year we are trying something new in our educational process. It is a cooperative teaching program called Classical Conversations. These groups are popping up all over the country and this is the first year that we have had one in our town. My two older kids are juniors in high school this year, and though CC does go all the way through 12th grade, they are pretty set with the online classes they take and what we do together, so they are continuing on that path. The younger two however, are "bent" like their daddy - towards math. I admire, but frankly have NO understanding for people bent towards math. Numbers are absolute "greek" to me. I am a terrible math teacher, I am a terrible math doer. My younger two excel at this subject, but it is pulling teeth to get them to read a book! This is beyond my imaginings.

Anyway, all that to say that while they are well ahead of schedule in the math department, we were falling quickly and woefully behind in "classical" education. The model of classical education simply states that the way children learn is broken into three main categories, based on age. In the "elementary" years children learn mostly by memorizing. They can memorize anything, especially if it is put to song. This is called the grammar stage. The "middle" years are the logic stage and this when they begin to see things more black and white. They can remember what they memorized earlier and now they can apply it. Finally, the high school years are the rhetoric stage. Now, they should be forming their own opinions on what they know and be able to articulate it. We have used this basic model for our educational journey from the beginning, even before I realized it had a name. It just seemed the logical thing to me. The curriculum that I use with my older ones and that I love more than anything I have ever found is called Sonlight, and it follows this basic model.

However, it seems that somehow, my little math professors have not caught the vision for literature and history that their older siblings have. They needed a little push. Classical Conversations is just the push we have been looking for. We just started last week and it was all smiles for them both!! If you knew my younger two, you would understand just what the miracle this is. All week they have been heard singing "The eight parts of speech, the eight parts of speech...." (To the tune of a congo line dance, if you can imagine - dance and all!)

Just since Monday, Graham, my little reluctant learner, can draw the 5 bodies of water that surround Europe on a blank map, he can name the 8 main parts of speech and tell me what they mean, he can sing you a sentence that tells who Charlamange was and when he was crowned Emperor, he can list the present tense Latin conjugation for the verb amo (and tell you what it means), he can name the 7 main types of biomes and what animals live in each. Plus, he has done his math, his reading work, and his Bible memorization with no complaints and we are almost finished with two books in the Narnia series that we are reading out loud.

Did you hear me say since Monday???

Similarly, Lyndsey can do all of the above, plus she has an intense grammar and writing curriculum from CC which she is working on with NO complaints thus far, and she has been reading 45 minutes per day without complaining! You probably can not get a real picture for how amazing this is, but suffice it to say that apparently CC is an answer to my prayers.

I am seriously impressed with this entire program and I just want to say that if you were ever considering home schooling and you thought you couldn't do it.....there is NO time like the present. This is a no brainer for you as a parent and it is absolutely an amazing model of education for your child.

Check it out at classicalconversatons.com --

Happy Learning!!

Education

"A faulty view of creation has led directly to the conceptual and moral relativism that plagues modern public education….What the schools do today determines what society will be tomorrow.”

I put this quote by Chuck Colson on my blog back in December under a title of "Tip on Education." I totally agree. In December I did not take the time to expound on this quote. In light of some news that I found out yesterday, I think I will do this now.

My older children have had an awesome science education thus far. They are in the 10th grade, taking Biology, but beginning in the 4th grade they were blessed to have a science teacher that embodies this statement to the max! Since they are homeschooled you may be thinking that I am quite a braggart, but I can assure you I am not talking about myself. I did not do so hot in science when I was in school and I certainly did not learn about creation science. My kids have received almost 100% of their science education from Catie Frates. She is a Creation Scientist, fellow home school mom, and I am blessed to be able to say a personal friend of mine. Her materials are intriguing, Biblically accurate, and now - available to you online! www.catiefrates.com

The bad news for me is that she is not going to be teaching live classes anymore in our area and I have to tell you that selfishly, I am crushed by this news. I have never had to worry about my kids science education, and now I have two more little ones who have not had the benefit of Catie's live classes. I will use her DVDs for sure, and I highly recommend them to you as well!

Now, back to the quote - let me type it again to refresh my memory..

"A faulty view of creation has led directly to the conceptual and moral relativism that plagues modern public education….What the schools do today determines what society will be tomorrow.” Chuck Colson

First, let me define "moral relativism" - it is kind of a theological term that you may or may not be familiar with. I know I was not until I attended my first Worldview Seminar oh, about 2 years ago! According to dictionary.com the word relative means "existing or having its specific nature only by relation to something else; not absolute or independent.." The term "moral relativism" is a philosophical term that refers to the belief that morals are not absolute, instead they change from person to person, culture to culture, and year to year based on whatever is "socially" acceptable at the time.

I am here to declare to you that, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13 His Word does not change, He does not falter with the times. If His Word says it is wrong, it is wrong - always, no exceptions.

So, back to the quote....why does the belief in moral relativism run rampant among young people of America today? I believe that the writer of this quote hit the nail on the head. They are taught faulty science from the literal beginning. If you are taught that life began in a sludge of primordial soup, which they are, why would you have any respect for life - yours or anyone elses? Why would you care about your neighbor? Why would you not steal things that don't belong to you, but that you want? Why would you not believe in abortion if you find yourself pregnant with a baby you do not want? Why would you think of anyone except yourself? Why would you believe that there is any purpose to your life?

You wouldn't and most people don't. I wouldn't either if I did not know beyond any shadow of a doubt that there is a God in Heaven and He is the Alpha and the Omega - the beginning and the end, the same yesterday, today, and forever -- and here's the best part....He is coming again!!

However, public education in America is destroying the moral fabric of our nation. Abraham Lincoln said, "The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next." I think we have certainly seen this quote come to pass in a scary and tragic way. We have sitting in the highest elected position in the land, possibly in the world, a man with no regard for human life. A man who spends my money to shed innocent blood in the form of abortion, and who certainly does not believe in moral absolutes. This is not a political post, and I do respect the office of the President of the United States and I pray for President Obama personally and professionally every single day, but I have to tell you that I believe that our society has descended to base levels at lightening speed. I also believe that our public education system is a huge, huge part of the problem. A problem that has been foretold for generations, which we are now seeing come to pass.

While I am at it, I will say one more controversial thing about the public education system in America. All organizations have a goal - a point for all they do, and there is not such thing as a "non-religious" organization. We all have a spirit and a physical body and we were all created in the image of God, therefore, we are all religious. We long for something to worship and everyone worships someone or something. Some people worship themselves and set themselves up as the supreme being in their own lives. The term for this type of religion is secular humanism. John Dewey, who had a profound influence on the American public education system that we have today was a secular humanist. In his work A Common Faith, he rejected all things supernatural and a supernatural God. The heart of this type of belief is that man is the Supreme Authority. God becomes a nuisance when you declare yourself sovereign. This is what we have going on in our public education system today. I know there are wonderful Christian teachers and administrators in the school system, but from the top down there is an agenda. There is a blatant agenda that no one is even trying to hide anymore.

If you are still reading this, please hear one thing. It is your responsibility to research and make an informed decision about education. There is so much information available at the stroke of a keyboard. Please, please, look into the history of public education, look into creation science - the answers are right there, the science is on the side of creation, despite what we are told to believe. God is always there, He is still on the throne, and He is shining His marvelous light into the lives and hearts of those who seek Him.