It's The Little Things

I'm just going to be honest here. Not that I am not usually honest, but I do typically try to find joy in the little things. Right now, though, the little things are truly stressing me out. I know how much I have to be thankful for, so I feel totally guilty even writing this post, but I also feel like I am going to burst wide open if I don't vent a little.

Life is really getting at me right now.

Baby is teething. I have never had one have quite this hard a time cutting two little measly teeth. He whines, he chews, he screams out, then he whines some more. And if you dare get too near him, he grabs whatever appendage you have put within his grasp and attacks it like a dog on a bone. Let me tell you, those two teeth that he is having such a hard time with, they have sharp little corners that HURT when he bites down!

Graham is Graham. I'm going to start a separate blog about his daily antics. I think we could get our own reality show. He is like a package of fireworks, after you set them off! All day, every day, he only has one speed - EXHAUST MOM! I have never in my life experienced anything like Graham. He is a textbook case of every hyperactivity disorder that any doctor on the planet could dream up. The problem is, I would be the biggest hypocrite on the face of the earth if I medicated my son - so I don't. I have to tell you though, it is sorely tempting. So is the big yellow school bus - since I'm being honest and all. Schooling Graham takes every ounce of patience that I can muster up. He is bizarrely smart in Math - grasps a concept and has it down almost immediately. His memory is almost photographic. He can remember dates, songs, and concepts after hearing them only once. Reading and writing however, produce a torrent of tears and anger - every, single, solitary day. I will be honest, it is wearing me down. I am already tired from getting up at night with baby, I quit drinking caffeine, and I have been detoxing since my health scare. So, I frankly do not have enough energy to come close to keeping up with Graham these days.

Lyndsey is about to turn 13. Enough said. Her moods are about as wacky as mine are once a month. Not a good combination.

Joshua and Bryce have always been my lowest maintenance children. At just two weeks shy of 17, they pretty much still are. Bryce can certainly get moody from time to time (can't we all?) and Joshua needs some prodding most days to get going on his responsibilities. Overall, though, on a daily basis, they do not add to my physical strain. Sometimes the stress they have in deciding their future plans causes me emotional anxiety. I feel for them as I remember this most difficult time of life. I spend a lot of time in prayer for them, their plans after graduation, and their future spouses.

Anyway, all that to say, life is hard sometimes. Even when there is nothing major wrong in your life. Even when all of your "stresses" are due to the blessings God has given you. Believe me, I know how blessed I am and I am not complaining about my life. I'm just simply stating that I am tired. I rarely say I need a break - I truly enjoy most being with my husband and kids. I am not one of those moms or wives who needs a "girls night out" once a week. If you are, that is fine - I have no soapbox on that - I just don't. Right now, however, for the first time in years and years, I can say that I would be so grateful for a day or two away. If I were to be completely honest, I would say by myself sounds really, really good - but, I know that hubby and I really need some time away together, too. It has been a full year since we had even a night away alone. We typically try not to let that happen, but this past year, life just kind of got away from us.

Anyway, sorry to vent on you guys. If you are still reading, thanks for sticking it out. That is really all I have to say!