I have to admit, I had a bit of a melt down yesterday. My kids would call it more than a melt down, but I think that is sufficient. Mondays are long days for us because we have started participating in a Classical Conversations co-op this year. We have done co-ops over the years, but they have been mostly for fun. Short 3 hour mornings out of the house, interacting with other kids, learning together, and coming home at lunchtime for a nice long nap. (For Mama, of course). CC is a little different. It is lots of fun, don't get me wrong, but it is intense academically. The day is 9-12 for my youngest, but my 12 year old is in class from 9-3. Her last two hours are jam packed with Grammar and Writing. You can imagine the thrill of a classroom of 20 students learning the difference in transitive and intransitive verbs. I have a college degree in English and much of this stuff is new to me!! This is the elementary class - ages 9-12. Next year, my daughter will be in the "middle school" class and it is 8:30-3:30. The first day of class this year they had to draw a map of the United States, labeling all the states, capitals, and rivers -- free hand! As in, no outline provided. By the end of the year, they will be able to map the entire world by the same format. I would like a comment from any of you who are capable of that feat. I know I'm not.
Anyway, after the first few weeks of class, I really had to ask myself why we are participating and what I truly think is important. Classical education I have already talked about on my blog, so I won't reiterate it. I think it is the best model for learning and retaining. This curriculum that CC has put together is fabulous. But, it is hard, hard work. Plus, the days are long and we have an infant. I am not allowed to leave the campus while the kids are in class, which is fine with me. I would actually prefer to be in the class with them, which moms are encouraged to do. However, that is not usually feasible with a baby. He is just so darn cute that he attracts most of the attention when we enter the room. Plus, this particular little bundle of joy does not sleep except at home, in our bed. Therefore, Mondays are pretty much torture for me because he is so exhausted by noon, and we still have three more hours to go!
Back to questioning myself......I do that a lot, you know. What is really important in our home school journey? In other words, why are we doing this? I had come to the conclusion, not just yesterday, but years ago, that we are only in this for the glory of God. If there is no godly reason why we memorize the countries of the USA, then why should we bother? Yesterday, I needed a reminder of why I do what I do, because quite frankly, sometimes I feel like I am plodding down this road with four really heavy weights tied to me (those would be the children that do not want to do their work, that argue and complain and do not in any way appreciate the sacrifices I make for them!). Then, I realized the absolute selfishness of my pity party because, with the same measure that I used to decide why they need to learn certain things, I can also get the answer for why my husband and I decided to home school them in the first place. It is not about me and my sacrifices! There's the shocker, right? It is not about whether or not I could have had a career or at least about why I could have been spending my mornings on the tennis court and "doing lunch" with my imaginary friends. No, I do this for one plain and simple fact. God told me to. I don't say very often that God told me anything, because sometimes I am so confused with all the glitz and noise of the world coming at me, that I am not sure at all how to distinguish His voice from all the others. In the area of home schooling, though, I am positive, beyond any shadow of a doubt that He spoke clearly on the subject. I remember the moment, I remember where I was, and I literally turned around to see if someone was in the room with me. If I didn't know better, I would tell you He said it out loud! No joke. I keep that at the forefront of my mind every time the school bus looks too inviting. God, the Creator of the Universe, the great I AM - he told me to do this, and do it I will, unless He tells me any different - which I honestly do not anticipate.
Back to my melt down. I came in yesterday afternoon, baby screaming, other kids tired. My older kids are home doing online classes on Mondays, so they were here. The house was pretty clean, but the things that were strewn around just jumped up and knocked me over the edge. I just could not take the thought of dealing with the baby, cleaning up, cooking dinner, etc..... My older two bore the brunt of my melt down. They got the lecture about the fact that they are juniors in high school now and it is time to grow up. Here's the thing though, my older kids are awesome!! They are amazingly mature - spiritually and mentally. They are brilliant. They have far surpassed anything I could teach them, so I can take no credit for that. They read constantly, they are talented and they love the Lord. Really, what more could a mom ask? Well, I guess on "melt down" days, this mom could ask that they clean house, wash laundry, feed the animals, and cater to my pity party -- on top of college level Latin, Shakespeare, and Tolkein online classes, plus Honors Math, seminary level Bible Class, Writing, volunteer work, tennis, etc..... Yeah, I don't really expect a whole lot, do I?
So, there you have it. I lost it - I apologized. We have moved on. Then, this morning, as God would have it, one of my favorite bloggers wrote the post I needed to start my week over. I love this book she quotes from. I have read it many times, but quite obviously, I need to read it again. It puts it all back into perspective. Read it here:
Homeschooling: What Are We to Teach Our Children?
Oh, and in case you're wondering how God helped me figure out how mapping the world brings Him glory, He led me to pray over every country or city that we put on the map. For instance, the past three weeks the younger ones are mapping the European countries, so every day we have been praying for revival in France, Spain, Italy, England, and the Czech Republic. We have been praying for the missionaries there and praying that God would send workers into those countries to share about a true relationship with Jesus Christ. Now, our map work has a purpose. We are learning about the big, big world that our God created and learning that it is filled with men, women, and children that He loves - just like He loves us.
We are back, and it is going to be a good week.
1 comment:
Bravo! :-)
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