Headed to the High Places...

It is incredibly difficult to articulate what I have been privileged to be a part of this week. Hours of uninterrupted time alone with God is something that we should all make a priority, but unfortunately, we don't. Myself included. The past two years I have had the incredible honor of being part of a three day retreat where I was "forced" by rules of the retreat, to spend two entire half days in silence! From waking until lunch time, no sound is heard in the cabin or the surrounding area. Remember this is a mountain cabin with sixteen ladies -- so silence is only gained by force!! Thankfully, we all have in common an incredible mentor, who knows the value of time spent with our Heavenly Father, and she has been led for the past several years to offer the opportunity to those who will take advantage of it. I went for the first time last summer and I am completely hooked! This three days is now a priority in my life.

Last year everything was new to me. I knew absolutely no one except my mentor when I arrived, and from the beginning of the time, God used so many people to speak truth into my life. Then, He met me that first morning, when I was so afraid that I would not be able to be silent with my Father for four or five hours. I was so hungry for more by the end of the first morning.

This year was no disappointment. For the past few weeks I have been praying about the retreat and daily getting more and more excited about meeting Jesus on the mountaintop.

He was there!

I met up with these amazing ladies the first evening. Four ladies I knew and eleven I did not. We were all immediately kindred spirits, having Jesus and our intense love for Him as our common denominator. There is nothing like the bonds of fellowship between believers, and I dare say between women. We hold nothing back when we begin to share. These ladies now know all there is to know about me. They have encouraged me, cried with me, and laid their hands on my head and petitioned the Father on my behalf. The bonding experience is incredible. I know they will pray for me this coming year as I will be praying for them, until we meet again on the mountain.

The thing is that even though the fellowship with these like minded ladies is amazing, the fellowship with my Heavenly Father is even better. Sunday morning, He woke me up at about 6:00 am, completely rested. Those of you who know me are now sure that a miracle was performed, because I do NOT get up at 6 am with any semblance of rest. To top it off, two nights previous to my trip I had about four hours sleep each night. Y'all, I am a nine hour a night gal!!

When I opened my eyes Sunday morning to the smell of fresh coffee, I jumped out of bed and pulled on my sweatshirt and jeans. I went up to the kitchen to get my huge cup of hot Java with white chocolate coconut creamer, and it was divine! I went back down to get my Bible, my journal, and my brand new copy of Hinds Feet on High Places, and I went outside to sit. Surrounded by deep patches of woods, vibrant green foliage, and the loud chirping of crickets, I opened my Bible and began to read through some of the verses that had been discussed the night before.

As I sit here now looking through my journal to share with you, I see that I started with Psalm 84 - titled in my Bible, "My Soul Longs for the Courts of the Lord"

"How lovely are Your dwelling places, O LORD of hosts! My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the LORD; My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God."


It was a perfect place to begin. As I began to soak in the entire chapter, I began to feel myself yearning for the next level of fellowship with God. The chapter ends with the following three verses:

"For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside. I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God Than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, How blessed is the man who trusts in You!"

As I began to pray and open up to God about things going on in my life and as I began to pray for family members, friends, and various things on my heart, God used these verses to bring me peace, comfort, and to absolute trust in Him.

Then I began to read my book. I am ashamed to say I have never read this book, Hinds Feet on High Places. This is a must read for every Christian lady, but certainly for those who struggle as I do with fear and anxiety. For me, I realized that I had so many things to put on the alter, so many things that paralyze my walk with Christ. Things that I can not control, yet I continue to grasp at. Things that He doesn't want me to try to control, yet I continue to struggle in vain.

As I cried out to Him during this time, I tried to take the time to listen. My dear friend and host for this retreat says that she believes that there is a "secret" to the successful Christian life, and here it is: 1 - Call on God 2- Wait and Listen to Him 3- Obey whatever He says. If you do these three things you will be successful in your walk. They are not easy, but they are certainly simple to understand if not to apply. My goal was to apply what I know to be true. My God is there, He wants to speak to me, and He expects me to obey.

As I cried out to Him and then waited, I sensed in my heart that He was leading me to Isaiah 54. I love verse 13 in this chapter as I claim it to cover my mistakes as I raise my children. This verse promised that He will be their teacher and they will have peace. I had never really paid much attention to the rest of the chapter, but God brought it to me, so I spent a lot of time meditating on it.

The entire chapter is beautiful and I am working to memorize it now, but I want to share these verses which particularly stuck out to me: (11-14)

"O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted, Behold, I will set your stones in antimony, And your foundations I will lay in sapphires. Moreover, I will make your battlements of rubies, And your gates of crystal, And your entire wall of precious stones. All your sons will be taught of the LORD; And the well-being of your sons will be great. In righteousness you will be established; You will be far from oppression, for you will not fear; And from terror, for it will not come near you."

Over the next couple of days God really sang a song of peace to my soul. A song of joy and triumph over fear. As I read the story of Much-Afraid in my book, I realized how like her I am. Fearful of too many things that I can not control. Always missing opportunities to serve God and serve others because I am wrapped up in trying to avoid heartache. In the book, Much-Afraid was terrified of traveling to the High Places with only Suffering and Sorrow as her companions, but as she climbed and then was led into the valley and then climbed again, she came to realize that she was gaining strength from them that she could not have gained otherwise. When she finally reached the High Places and received her new name, she realized that her companions too had received new names. Now Grace and Glory was the companion of Joy and Peace and she could be poured out upon those who are suffering in ways she never would have been used before.

God asked me some really hard questions this week about serving Him. The most important one was this, will I serve Him even if I don't get what I want? Will I serve Him even if I never get to do the things I want to do? Even if what I want seems "good," will I submit to His plan?

Sometimes as a mother and a home schooler I feel the urgency of our situation. I have two children who are going to be eighteen in two and a half years. That scares me too death sometimes!! I ask myself almost constantly if they are ready. Have we done enough? Can they make it on their own? Will they make good choices or will they walk away from all we believe in?

I beat myself up over whether or not they have memorized enough of the Bible, or whether we have done enough Math (I know for a fact we have not). I ask myself all the time if they are mature enough and if they are strong enough in Christ to make a difference in the world.

The truth is that their relationship with Christ is not based on what they have memorized in the Bible. It is not based on what they do. It is based on grace, unmerited favor from the Creator of the Universe. Joy in loving Him and serving Him all the days of their lives. That is all that matters for them, and for me.

This week God told me to lay it down. My expectations of my husband, my expectations of my children. He made it very clear to me that I can not wrap my joy up in whether or not they do what I want them to do. I have to put that on the alter.

Like Much Afraid, I picked up a stone while I was gone. I brought it home as a reminder to me of where I was when I heard the voice of my Father, gently prodding me to give it all to Him. All of my fears and failures, all of my expectations.

He also gave me our theme verse for next year, and as you might expect, it spoke peace and relief to my very soul.

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence." 2 Peter 1:3

I am going to be fine. My husband is going to be fine. My children will grow up into men and women who love and serve the most High God. After all, we already have all that we need in Him.

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I have no idea why I can't get these pictures any larger, but here are a few you may enjoy!

Two of the most godly women I am privileged to know - my mentor Mardy and another dear sister Wendy.


The table was a special time to fellowship.


Another dear sister, Susan who has raised amazing children for the Lord and who I was so excited to meet this week.