Gotcha Day!

In the world of adoption people use different dates as their "Gotcha" Day. Some use the date they actually "got" the baby, which for us would be April 27th. Some use the day it is "official" before a judge - which for us would be yesterday....August 25th. Since we adopted our son from birth, I'm not sure we will make a big deal yearly about the date "August 25." As far as we are concerned he was ours from the moment his birth mom agreed that he should be with us. The paperwork and the appearance before the judge really doesn't change anything at all as far as we are concerned.

However, it was certainly a very special time for our family. Baby slept through the whole process, as you can see from the picture. The judge was all smiles and very kind. He even commented that seeing us "made his day" and he wished we could stay longer because his day would be "downhill from here." Very sad to think what he must deal with on a regular basis. Building families instead of tearing them apart must be a rarity. Everyone in the courtroom was all smiles when we approached the bench.

As for me, my feelings ran the gamut of emotions. First, I was afraid we were going to be late, so I peeled out of our driveway before Stan was even finished dressing. We had to take two cars because he was going to the office after. Then, Graham, was overcome with a sudden fear of elevators in the courthouse parking garage, so I had to walk down three flights of stairs. Keep in mind that it is August, in Florida. The heat index must have been at least 150 degrees at 9:00 am. (That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.) My hair does not do well with a heat index of 150 degrees and humidity to match - and you know this court appearance was all about my hair! You can not adopt a child during a bad hair day!

Of course, we made it to the appropriate room well before they were ready for us. I believe Stan mentioned that a time or two during my tirade about being late for court. The lawyer did appear to be pacing when we walked into the lobby though. Especially when every single one of us, except Graham beeped for the metal detector and had to have the once over with the "wand." Graham didn't beep, but he insisted on the security guard "wanding" him just the same. At least the guard got a chuckle out of it.

Now, I have had a day to ponder my feelings about our finalization. As I said, it makes absolutely no difference as far as the way we feel or act towards Baby. However, I have just been overwhelmed with thankfulness the last couple of days whenever I think about what God has done for us these past few months. Exactly five months ago, almost to the day, I was sitting atop a high stool at a restaurant when Stan almost toppled me by saying, "I think the timing is right for us to adopt." I could never have imagined that less than a half of a year later, we would have a four month old and the entire process would be final. It is only God who could have done that!

Only God could have picked this baby boy from across the country especially for our family. He fits perfectly. He is everything we could have dreamed him up to be and so much more. I am absolutely awed that God would do something like this for me. Sometimes I feel so inadequate - as a mother, as a wife, as a teacher. I know that so many others do it so much better than I do. But, when I look at this baby, and our other children, I see the grace, mercy, and enduring faithfulness of a God who loves us so much and who is waiting and desiring to bless His children. He wants to pour out blessings, not wrath. He wants to distribute love and mercy instead of judgement.

I pray every day that I can be the kind of mom that all of my children need and I pray that God would continue to hold me up and guide me along this journey. I am also praying that I would show my children the grace that God shows me. That I would not lose patience with them when they stumble, but that I would walk alongside of them, training, loving, and helping them grow into men and women who love Him and follow Him all the days of their lives.

I know one day this stage in our lives will come to an end. This time when life is crazy and chaotic. When we have teenage drivers, middle school hormones, elementary temper tantrums, late night bottles, and piles of dirty diapers. One day my house will be clean. Free of fingerprints and lost shoes. Dinner will be ready on time and we will eat it in peace and quiet. There will be no messes to clean, no whining, and no middle of the night wake up calls.

And I will miss it like crazy. That is what keeps me going every day. Knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that one day I will ache for messes and noise. I will ache for little hands to reach up to me and little people to beg to be held. I will want more than anything a drooly, slobbery baby kiss.

Every time our baby smiles I want to cry because I truly thought we were done with that stage. I honestly didn't know if I would ever rock another one of my babies again. I didn't know for sure that I would ever again hear that first giggle or watch those first steps. I am overcome with gratitude when I think that God has given me my heart's desire - again. And I know I do not deserve it.

I am already mourning the end of the newborn stage. Baby is an infant now. He is beginning to show his own personality. At four months old, he is definitely aware of himself and recognizes those he loves most. Daddy, Mama, two brothers and two sisters. His face lights up at the sight of any of us. We could not be more in love.

Thank you Jesus for families. Thank you for babies who prove over and over that You still have hope for this world.