Baby Snuggles

I don't often write parenting posts. I am the last person qualified to tell anyone else how to parent. I do this day by day or even hour by hour - sometimes I feel good about it, sometimes I feel like wiping the day right off the calendar. Even five kids and seventeen and a half years has only proven to me how very needy I am of God's grace.

I do have to say though, baby snuggles are something I can handle. I can lose hours just sitting in a rocking chair holding my sweet baby. Sometimes he is already asleep and sometimes he is just snuggling. Seventeen years of parenting may not have taught me much, but it has taught me this: it goes by so incredibly fast and you will never regret a moment of stopping to hold your baby.

I know there is a parenting philosophy out there that says that you need to force your baby to go to sleep on his own. That he or she needs to learn to "self-soothe" or you will be in for a lifetime of bad sleep habits. I even had a dear friend tell me (through tears) that her pediatrician told her how wrong it was for her to rock and hold her newborn - EVER! I know that many believe that babies should only eat every four hours, no exceptions.

My experience tells me that all of these statements are baloney! (That's the nicest word I can think of). I have five children and they all sleep through the night - from the oldest (17) to the youngest (13 months). They have started sleeping through the night at various ages, some older than others. I rocked them all and I still rock the baby. It is the highlight of my day. I would not think of depriving myself of it simply because I know from experience that all too soon he will be 5 or 9 or 17 and our rocking days will be over. He will be independent and he will be self soothing and I will want to rewind time. I know this is true because it has happened to me four times already. None of my children are social freaks. They are all normal and healthy - both physically and emotionally. I rocked them all. Furthermore, they all slept with us from birth. Yes, in our bed. We loved it and we would have it no other way. In fact, that bed seems very big and sometimes quite lonely now that everyone sleeps by him or herself. I miss those middle of the night snuggles with my babies.

So here is my unsolicited parenting advice. All babies need to be held close their first few weeks of life. They just spent nine months inside of you, listening to the steady drum of your heart and gently rocking inside your womb. Wear them in a wrap, lay them on your chest while you rest, so they can hear your heart beat and feel your warmth. Do not let anyone else (even, maybe especially, your doctor) tell you how to "schedule" your baby. We moms have a God given instinct deep inside our very souls that tells us what is best for our babies. Soon you will get to know the individual likes and dislikes of your baby. Some babies do not like to be rocked - don't rock them. Some babies need to be held more than others - hold them. Some babies prefer their own space - put them in a crib. Some prefer Mommy and Daddy snuggles, all night long - sleep with them.

No man or woman can write a book that gives parenting advice that works across the board. Children are individuals, just like we are. They all have their own needs and their own likes and dislikes. You have to know your baby, and to do that you have to spend the time it takes to get to know them. Your dirty dishes will be there tomorrow, I promise. The dirt on the floor is good for the immune system - don't worry. Rock your baby. Commit him or her into the hands of the God of the universe. He is the One who will instruct you on how to parent. He is the One who knit your baby together and He alone knows the plans He has for him.

Instead of stressing about self soothing, just sit down and hold your baby, and while you hold him, pray over him. Ask God to lead you and guide you as you make parenting decisions. Ask God to protect this baby and draw him close to his Savior. You will never regret the time you spent letting your little one know that he is safe and secure in your arms.

Parenting is a daunting task. If we take it seriously, it should make us tremble. I have learned over the years, though that truly what children want is for their parents to love each other and for you to be authentic in your relationship with Christ. They can spot a phony a mile away! Just love Jesus, love their Daddy, and take the time to snuggle. I can think of nothing better then when I wake up to two or three who have crawled into our bed in the middle of the night or when our teenagers come and plop on my lap or their Dad's lap and just want to talk. Build that foundation now - you won't regret it!