Patrick and the Noodles

Be forewarned - "bodily functions" post coming up!!

Patrick has a little cold.  His nose is a bit snotty, but so far that's it.  When this happens around here I like to hit it hard and not wait around to see if it is going to turn into something.  My kids don't often just get the "sniffles" so I like to nip it quickly and move on.  So, today he has had lots of supplements, oils, and green drinks.  Sometimes what I give them actually makes their noses run more and causes a detox reaction.

So, this afternoon when Graham came in and said Patrick's nose was bleeding, I wasn't too alarmed.  It wasn't really a "nose bleed" in the typical sense.  It was more like when he blew his nose, there was blood mixed in.  This has happened to all of us at one point or the other since we moved to Arizona.  The climate is just so dry and sinuses easily dry out and bleed a bit.

I got a tissue and told Patrick to blow.  He blows his nose better than any two year old I have ever seen!  I found it odd that though he blew really hard, nothing much came out.  So, I looked up his nose and one side looked clear, but in the other side I saw what appeared to be the largest booger I have ever seen.

Anyone who knows me knows that I don't do snot - even my own baby's snot.  I could throw up just thinking about slimy green runny noses.  Ugh.  But, I also can not stand to leave huge boogers in my kids noses.  I am kind of a "picker" that way.  So.....  I got more tissue and some saline.  I did find it a bit odd that he was lying perfectly still letting me spray saline up his nose and then he kept blowing and blowing.  Nothing was happening.  Weird.

I admit that I picked at it a little with my finger nail - and again found it very odd that he let me.  What I found even more odd was that when my fingernail touched the "booger" small bits of it got under my fingernail in pieces.  Very concise pieces, not slimy like a booger at all.  In fact, the pieces were kind of chunky and white - like....oh.my.goodness. JUST like the rice pasta he had for lunch.

You have got to be kidding me?!?!

This kid had stuffed pasta up his nose!?!?

"Patrick," I asked.  "What is this in your nose?  Is it pasta?"

**sheepish grin**

SERIOUSLY?!?!

Now, I am on a real mission.  I spray saline, he blows, I dig.....we are getting absolutely nowhere!!  There is no way he can breathe from that nostril at all.  There is no air passage at all and no end in sight to all the noodle stuffed up there.  By this time Graham has alerted all the other kids and Joshua has the idea to use the suction bulb that they give you in the hospital when babies are born.  Miracle, I still had one and even bigger miracle, I actually found it.

Now, I'm getting down to serious business.  I spray the saline and stick the "sucker" up there.  All this time, he is still lying quietly, hopefully contemplating the fact that this was a very very bad idea.  I notice that the chunk of noodle is getting closer, but I still can't reach it.  I keep pressing the bulb down and sucking again.  Finally, the first chunk attaches to the end of the bulb - it is too large to actually get sucked up in there.  

One out.

This happened two more times - each chunk bigger than the last.  Seriously, I don't know how he managed to get all that shoved up there.  Way more came out than I would ever have been capable of putting back in.

When the last, and largest, chunk came out he visibly took a deep breath.  Poor little guy, he definitely couldn't breathe through that side of his nose at all.

So, there you have it - just another day at our house.  Hopefully, he realized from the whole thing that noodles belong on the plate or in your mouth and not in other orifices.  Then again, he is only two.....so who knows what else I may be in for??  At least for today, we avoided an ER visit.

Go ahead and laugh, I did.  I don't see any other choice really.