#talktomeaboutleggings

I haven't blogged lately - frankly, I just haven't been feeling it.  Everything in my world feels off.  Particular government organizations are breathing down my neck for promoting essential oils as a wellness tool for my family, so many horrific things are happening internationally, we are praying and working diligently to bring our "son" home on a student visa from Ethiopia, the Super Bowl just happened last weekend in our city and the whole week felt oppressive and stifling - all I could think about was how many trafficked women and girls the city received in the days and weeks leading up to the event.

I know all of that is heavy and hard.  But, that is just who I am and I am learning to embrace it rather than continue to fight it.  Years ago - I can't remember how many but I distinctly remember exactly where I was - I prayed a prayer.  A prayer that if I did not unashamedly and with no reservation love Jesus Christ so much, I would "unpray."  I had traveled to Chicago on a business trip with my husband.  It was a few days alone without our kids in tow.  I am a people watcher.  I love to grab a cup of coffee and just find a bench somewhere and sit.  I swear, one day I am going to go to NYC completely by myself so that I can just spread out a blanket in Central Park, take a book and sit there all.day.long.  I pray for people who walk by, I think, I write in my head or on paper if I have some handy.  This particular day in Chicago I came down from the hotel, grabbed some coffee at the nearest Starbucks and promptly tripped over a homeless lady sitting outside the door.  I went back inside, got another cup, and brought it out to her.  I invited her to sit down on the nearest bench and tell me her story.  She didn't talk much, I listened a little, she shuffled away.  That's it.

That's it.

It completely and utterly did me in.  I went back to the room, grabbed a notebook and began to write. I couldn't get words out fast enough - in my head I saw myself helping her and the thousands like her who line the streets of our cities.  They have stories, families - they are made in the image of God!  They are not dirty, scary, and sick.  They are not leeches trying to suck the marrow out of society.  They are people - people who our God created and loves - every ounce as much as He loves me.  I sat for hours, tears streaming, pencil scratching - and then I got down on my knees and I said the words that forever changed me.

"God - break my heart for the things that break Yours."

Ten little words.  I had no idea what I was asking for.  Since the day I prayed that prayer my mind has not stopped whirling.  My heart literally hurts.  I have never been one for small talk but that changed even more that day.  Now, I detest it.  I enjoy quiet and I love deep, hard discussions.  Shallowness is just more than I can take.  I think that is what has brought me out of the closet today.  I am sure that most of you have seen the "yoga pants" post that has gone completely viral.  I haven't had much to say about it, frankly because it is shallow to me.  I just don't care what you wear.  But today I read a post that I agree with and my daughter said something when she shared it that I just can't get out of my head.  She said, "When there are no more orphans, no more slaves, and no more wars - then we can debate yoga pants...."  Truly - this girl stretches me more than any other pruning tool God has ever put before me.  We are so much alike God must have just cloned us twenty years apart.  I love most everything about the beautiful soul that she is - and then there are those things that hold up a mirror to me and make me have to dig deep - deep into the things about my life I need to work on.  God is good that way.

So, here is the response I love.

10 Things to Get Angry About

Friends, our world is in a downward spiral.  Maybe people have said that since time began.  I can believe it - but we are certainly not on any up swing as far as I can tell.  There is injustice and horror around every corner.  There is also beauty and goodness that resides in the hearts of those who love Jesus and long to serve Him.  All the while that we are hurting over the injustice and all the while that we are getting involved in the lives of vulnerable people - we can also live lives of LOVE and JOY.  Today I went to our homeschool co-op with Patrick and we played games and did science experiments and art projects together.  I read a book to my 12 year old.  Tonight I read a stack of library books and then had a sword fight.  I headed down to the college campus where my oldest attend and hugged my son.  I went to the chiropractor and laughed and chatted with her.  I had an argument with my husband (just being honest) - but God knows I love him!  I lived my life - and I think that pleases God.  But, there is more.

My point here is that each and every second of every day I live with a partially heavy heart.  Patrick had a nightmare the other night and woke up crying.  When I got to him and he wrapped his skinny little arms around my neck sobbing, I lost it.  I lost it not because my son was crying - my son has a Mommy who loves him more than her own life.  I lost it because there are 163,000,000 little boys and girls who wake up with nightmares at night and NO ONE CARES.   Friends - get pissed about that!!!

As we go through our lives we are selfish and remiss if we EVER think that arguments about pants please the heart of God.  We need to be loving each other.  God knows there is enough hate to go around.

I know what some of you may be thinking.  I know what I was thinking about people like me before I prayed that prayer.  I was thinking - "Well, some things are important.  We have to stand for something.  We have to do what is right."   The problem was that I was reading the Bible like a Pharisee.  I was reading a list of rules - dos and don'ts handed down from the mountain by a holy and angry God.  And don't get me wrong.  I still believe in justice and I believe in right and wrong.  I know that there are things that God expects from His children, the same way I have things that I expect from mine.  Those who know me know that I do.  My kids have rules and often they do not like them.  Sometimes they think we are rigid and old fashioned.  But....

But....  God did not give us a list of rules from a mountaintop because He thought we would obey them.  Who among us thinks that our kids are always going to obey?  Maybe before you had kids you thought that - but I guarantee you that they proved you WRONG before their second birthday.  No, the Israelites are not held up to us as an example - they are held up as a mirror.  In them we can see the worst of ourselves and we can see the mercy of God.  Mercy and grace that triumphed at the CROSS.  Mercy and grace that we DO NOT deserve.  God's plan is always, always about redemption.  Our hearts must be like His.  Crushing people over their pants is NOT the way God works.  I submit to you right now that Jesus - who I am totally, head over heels in love with is (as my friend Linny says) an awe inspiring, mountain moving, gasp giving God - He loves to bless His children and He does not care what kind of pants you wear.  (I said that about the pants, not Linny - just so we are clear)  Does this mean we have no standards in our home?  Oh, you bet we do!  Ask my shorts loving daughters.  But I can assure you I am more concerned about their hearts than their pants.  The heart MUST come first, otherwise you are a Pharisee.  And I dare you to dig into your Bible and find out how Jesus felt about them.

Friends, let's get righteously angry over what matters!  Children matter, starvation matters, human trafficking matters, poverty and injustice matter - orphans matter.  Look into the eyes of an orphan.  Sit down with your son's birth mom for lunch and then watch her eyes when she hands you her baby and walks away.  Clean the infected and oozing wounds of a street child in another country.  Parent a child that you love with all of your heart and soul - who lives on another continent.  Head down to your nearest homeless shelter - look into their eyes and get a glimpse of what NO HOPE looks like.  After you have done these things, then talk to me about pants.  Geez - I just can't.even.

I am going to stop here - I know you all now have a mental picture of my girls and me running around in our leggings.  Oh - the horror!  Let's just all strive to keep our eyes on Jesus - if everyone does that, both men and women, we would probably be too focused on what matters to notice what anyone is wearing.  And for the love of all things - can't we just love each other where we are?????