Still musing.....

Today is a day of musing for me. We just got back from strolling around Tin City, and eating lunch on the outside porch of a restaurant called River Walk. From the table, we could see the boats coming in and out of the harbor, and smell the salt air. Summer is almost here, but not quite - the daily afternoon storms haven't rolled in yet and though the air is hot and sticky, it will get much worse. This is pretty much the last weekend for visitors, though the crowd was very low, maybe high gas prices kept people closer to home. Over the next couple of weeks the temperature and humidity levels will rise, the afternoon thunderstorms will be furious, and the crowds will dissipate. Those of us who summer here will stock up on water and batteries, we will only go out early in the morning and we will spend the afternoons in the air conditioning. I actually look forward to summer. I love the sound of rain hitting the roof of the house. I love the flashes of lightening and the loud claps of thunder. And I love the smell of the air when it is all over and I open the door and stand on the front porch. There is water gushing down the driveway, headed to the storm drains that line the road and the air is thick and heavy with the recent storm front. The birds are hopping around grabbing the wiggling worms that somehow end up washed out of the dirt and all over the pavement. And every once in a while there is a soft breeze that is a few degrees cooler than the sticky air - it feels heavenly. Off-season in a tourist town gives you a chance to slow down and think a little clearer. There is no traffic, no crowd and we are in no rush to get anywhere. We spend more time talking, playing games, and reading books. Lazy days of summer.......

My thoughts are still wandering back to the weekend, as well. The sights and sounds of the convention are familiar to me now. This was our 11th year. The venue changes every few years, and there are new faces to see and new speakers on the circuit - but, the feel remains the same. The families are large and happy. The vendors never ask if if those are "all your kids." It is the end of the year and the moms are relieved. Sometimes you see groups of women, sharing a hotel room and hanging out by the pool late at night. Sometimes you see a young couple. Their eyes are huge as they take it all in and they hold hands and stroll around the pool at night. You see their heads together at the tables, poring over the seminar schedule and the notes they have been taking. You see the young mom glance around with longing when she sees the teenage kids with their arms draped over their parents shoulders, laughing with their friends. "Will my kids be like that?" she wonders, her eyes misting over.

I can tell her that yes, if you keep on keeping on and finish strong, they will. We are now in the stage of having our oldest in the middle of their teen years. We still have elementary age kids as well and we hope we are not done yet. I would love to take a baby to graduation! I remember when I was the starry eyed young mom. We were beginning this marathon and we traveled to the convention alone. Desperately needing quiet to process the information we heard. Overwhelmed at the sheer amount of curriculum available to us. Yet, encouraged and amazed at the teenagers we encountered, and the good character that flowed from them. Excited at the families who had so many children, yet seemed to have such peace. "Will we ever have that?" I used to wonder. Our oldest two children were four and we had just made this life changing decision to homeschool them. We did not have the parenting or marriage thing down yet, much less school. We were nervous to say the least.

A decade later, I am still a little starry eyed when I get to convention and I am a lot teary eyed. My eyes fill with tears the second I walk in the door, and I feel like they could flow out at almost any given second. I love it! I love the aura of the whole experience. I thrive on seeing so many people who believe what I believe all in one place. It energizes me like nothing else I can think of. I feel on a very small scale what Peter must of felt when he was on the mountaintop with Jesus and he jumped up and offered to build shelters for them all. "Let's just live here forever!" I imagine him thinking. That is how I feel at convention. "Let's just stay here forever and encourage each other!" Alas, though, every year it comes to an end and we have to go home. As time passes, though, I realize that every year I persevere I get to receive a little more of the reward. The true reward. The one from God, not from the world. We take our children with us to convention now. They are older, we are a little wiser. I am not processing so much information now or choosing curriculum. I go now to energize myself. I could just stand and look all day and feel my batteries being recharged. These people that I don't even know are connected to me in a very deep way. We have all chosen the narrow path when it comes to education. I believe we have chosen the right path - but, I realize that is a topic open to debate. I don't want to debate it. Whatever it is, the path is narrow and that can not be denied. It is getting wider, no doubt, but it is still narrow. Now I am the parent with the teenagers who walk hand in hand with me. The young parents look at us and wonder. Hopefully, the don't witness the times my teens are arguing with their little brother or sister! :) Then again, maybe it is good if they do see that occasionally. We are far from perfect, and I am one who believes in being real!

I, on the other hand, am watching the parents who have graduates. That is our next step. To actually release our oldest and watch them fly! Wow. I realize as I think about it, that education is never really done. A diploma is a milestone, but not an end. If the Bible is our daily curriculum, and I believe it is. If God is our real teacher, and I believe He is. We never graduate until we see Him face to face. However, in four short years we will have two children who walk down the long aisle to the stage and receive a diploma. It will say that they have completed all the requirements of their "official" schooling. I am struggling with this a little bit. I am excited to see them soar, but I am not ready for that much change. I love our life the way it is. I love our family all together around the dining table, laughing and catching up on the day. So far our journey has been amazing. I am not the same mom I was that first convention. We are not the same couple. God has led us down a path that I could never have dreamed up. Truly, His ways are higher than our ways and He gives us so much more than we could ask or imagine. Thank you Jesus for all you have done!