Here's the Scoop.....

This is the short version of my story....it is a good story, a story of God's love and redemption towards fallen man (or woman as the case may be). It is a story that I wish you could hear in its entirety. One day I may be finished with the book...
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In September of 1994 a thirty year old, never married, business man asked a young, twenty-one year old college student out on a date. It was a Tuesday night when he called and she said yes. However, before the appointed time on Friday night she picked the phone up numerous times to call him back and cancel. In the end, she couldn't do it, and she went on the date. It was dinner and a movie and very little conversation. She was nervous and oddly enough rather shy around this man.

She said to her mom before the date, "I can't go out with him, we have nothing in common."

Her mom smiled and quietly said, "I think maybe this is the first person you have ever been out with that you did have something in common with."

The young girl just shook her head. What could she possibly have in common with this man? He was handsome, brilliant, and successful. He had two graduate degrees and a job with a solid corporation. He was driven and determined.

And he had asked her out.

She, on the other hand, was so young; still struggling to get an undergraduate degree and hold down a job. She supposed she was pretty enough, but certainly he could have found someone prettier than she to go out with. Plus, there were the babies. Eight month old twins. They were her heart and soul. She loved them with a fierce passion and she would do anything to protect them and give them a stable home.

Even stay married to their father.

The day after that Friday night date, the young business man went out of town to visit his parents. He told his mom, "Tonight, I met the person I am going to marry." The conversation that followed was probably not something to be repeated as this successful young man informed his doting mother that in the small southern town of less than 5,000 people where he was living, he had met a twenty-one year old single mother, not yet out of college whom he had decided after one date that he was going to marry.

The next few months passed in a whirlwind as this unlikely matched couple fell in love. Less than three months after they met, his company decided to move him about 750 miles away. The proposal was not typical, but then, nothing about their relationship had been typical up to this point.

It went something like this, "I'm moving to Florida, are you planning to stay here for the rest of your life or are you coming with me?"

I know it doesn't sound all that romantic, but she was not stupid. Without a second thought, she answered, "I'm coming."

That was the official beginning.

However, this young man would say that the beginning happened long before that night. He would tell you that on a September Tuesday evening when he called this young girl and asked her for a date, that he had already thought it through. He had already thought about the fact that this young lady that he was asking on a date had two children, infants, abandoned by their father - being raised by their mother and grandparents. He had already thought that if things got serious between them that he would not only be taking this woman as his wife, but he would be gaining two children for his own. Children that did not have a daddy, children that he would be the one to raise and love.

He chose them.

This is the story I promised you of betrayal, love, forgiveness, and redemption.

I wish I could tell you that Stan and I were walking with God at this time in our lives. We should have been. We were active in our church and we had no excuse for the fact that we were not seeking Him as we should have been concerning every aspect of our lives. I had been raised in the church, but considering the predicament I was in, I had obviously turned my back on God and was following my own will. I make no excuses for the things I did at this time in my life and I willingly accept my share of the blame for everything that had happened up to this point. I don't feel that my public blog is the place to share the details of that, mostly because those details would include advertising not only my mistakes, but the mistakes of someone that I have truly forgiven, and don't even know anymore. I was not walking with God then, but I am walking with Him now, and He has graciously granted me redemption.

It will suffice to say that I was wounded at this time in my life. Leary of men and afraid of my babies getting hurt anymore than they already were. I knew that one day they would have to face the reality of what had happened and that no matter how hard I tried to shield them, they would feel the pain of it all.

I married my husband and we moved far away from the small town I had grown up in. I know that it was hard for everyone to understand why and how I simply walked away. It was not simple and it was not easy, but I knew in my gut that it was right. I needed a fresh start.

We have lived the past fourteen years in the same small city of about 200,000. Just the fact that I use the word small to describe a population of almost a quarter of a million people proves just how long I have been gone. Truly, the place we live is a coastal city, with no skyscrapers. Our main industry is tourism and the beach is a mile from our front door. The community has a tight knit feeling and it is a great place to raise children. I miss the area of the country that I am from, I miss the fall leaves and the friendliness of the south, but this was definitely the right decision for our family.

Our children have been raised in a two parent home, with the stability of a mom and dad who are committed to each other and to our marriage. They know they are loved, and they know that they can count on us being married "until death do us part." My husband is a wonderful daddy to all of our children, but this post is about his relationship with the twins.

They have no memories of life without him in them. He was the one they were referring to when they said "Dada" for the first time. His were the arms they toddled into when they took their first steps, and he was the one who helped me plan and execute their first birthday party. He has been their daddy for as long as they can remember.

What we haven't done, until now, is legalize the relationship. My husband has never felt that he needed a piece of paper to tell him that he was their daddy. He chose them before we ever married. Over the years, a legal adoption is what we have both wanted, but he felt strongly that he wanted them to also choose him. They did choose him, and years ago they began to express to us a desire to legally change their names. To be quite frank we are procrastinators and since we knew that nothing was going to change except birth certificates we kept putting it off. About three months ago we took the plunge. We hired an attorney and filed the necessary paperwork to finalize the adoption and name change.

After much thought I have decided that I am not going to go into a lot of detail about the things that have happened the past three months. The reason is, as I said earlier in this post, the other party involved is someone that I do not know anymore. I can't begin to justify or explain the things that have been said and I have no desire to even try.

What I can tell you is how our family is feeling right now. The past fifteen years, my children have been blessed with stability and I have been blessed with security and a certain amount of peace. They have not had to deal with the typical drama of divorce and for that I am immensely grateful. However, there is always pain and emotion involved when we choose to go against God's plan. Over the years I have experienced insecurity and fear. I have been terrified that my best laid plans to raise my children in a place of security would one day be shattered. My emotions have been laid raw as I have speculated as to the future pain my children would one day have to deal with because of mistakes that I made. I have begged God to help them understand and forgive me. He has answered my prayers above and beyond anything close to what I deserve. I am humbled and thankful for the young adults that our twins have grown into. They have forgiven me and I know that God has also forgiven me.

Over the years they have run the gamut of emotions associated with adopted children. They have wondered about their birth father and they have asked questions. We have answered them all as honestly as we could. I am so thankful that they are not bitter or angry, they are secure with who they are and with the family that God placed them in. They know that they serve a big, big God and He placed them in the family He ordained specifically for them. They are content in that.

I also have been able to put the past in its place. I am not angry or bitter. I harbor no hard feelings whatsoever for what happened to me fifteen years ago. I know that God is in control and that even when I was not faithful to Him, He was watching over me. Only by His grace have I been brought to the place where I am now; where I am able to honestly say that my fear over my children and their future is gone. "I know in Whom I have believed and I know that He is able to keep that which I have entrusted to Him." He has kept my children safe in His arms and He has allowed my husband to come full circle with his choice.....now they are his in every way, and we have birth certificates to prove it.

I just want to say that as for me, I am unbelievably honored that I have such a wonderful man as a husband and a daddy for all four of my children. He is strong, godly, honorable, and trustworthy. Every single day I wake up and know without a doubt that he is going to be there for all of us; that he will honor until his death the covenant he made to us fourteen years ago and that he renewed just two weeks ago in a court of law. My prayer is that with God's help I can be the kind of wife that he deserves.

Thank you Stan, for choosing us and Happy Gotcha Day to our twins!! I love you all!