Thinking....

It's a dangerous thing when I start thinking. That is because the next thing I have to do is start writing, and I could be here all day. I have things to do, so I can't let that happen this morning, but it seems like every Monday morning I have thoughts swirling around in my head that I would like to get out. Usually it is from something I heard at church or some quote someone put on their facebook, or something my kids are dealing with. Today it is kind of all three.

We started a new sermon series at church yesterday, and it was a really great sermon. (You can click the link on my sidebar to hear it for yourself if you like). It seems the theme for the next few weeks is going to be "stewardship of life." This is a big deal for me because I am the type of person who sees things starkly in black and white. I know what I ought to do and I know what others around me ought to do. Does that mean I always do it? I wish, but no, often I fail miserably, but I do not have the excuse of being able to say I didn't know. When I disobey, it is usually very blatant. The up side of this "gift" of discernment is that it makes me fairly teachable. If there is an action or attitude in my life that does not match up with the Word of God, I truly want to know about it. It does not make me angry or defensive for someone to point it out to me. I truly want to know and I truly want to change it. Again I'll say that this doesn't mean I always do what I know I ought to do, but it doesn't make me angry for someone to approach me about something they see in my life.

The bad part is that hardly anyone except my husband approaches me on the things in my life that don't match up to God's Word. And on the flip side, I'm the same way. I hate confrontation and I never talk to others about the things that I see in their lives. I really wish I had more "iron sharpening iron" friends. And I wish I were more of an "iron sharpening iron" friend myself. I have some women in my life that I know would point out the "big" things to me. I have friends that I know would not allow me to consistently and blatantly live a lifestyle of wicked sin. However, I have precious few ladies in my life who would point out the little things. The bad attitudes and silly worries that are the sins in my life that I am most prone to, I know it, yet sometimes I get it a rut and these things begin to characterize my life. Sometimes I don't want to do the things that God has called me to, I want to do the things that I think would "help" in the Kingdom of God rather that the things He has plainly told me to do. Sometimes my flesh begins to seep out and I want it to be about ME!! I want it to be about MY dreams and MY passions. It is ugly when this is being fleshed out in my life. It is the total opposite of the "meek and quiet spirit" that God has called me to have.

This week after the sermon, the pastor challenged us to examine our lives and ask others around us what they see in our lives. I intend to do just that this week, and it is perfect timing - I'm not surprised since God always has perfect timing - that this weekend I will be away at a Prayer Retreat. I was privileged to be invited last year for the first time and again this year. A mentor of mine, a truly iron sharpening iron friend, has these three day retreats every summer. I am so excited because Sunday and Monday mornings I will spend totally uninterrupted time alone with God. The "rules" of the retreat are that you are not allowed to speak even a good morning until lunch time - so from the time you get up until lunch time you are totally alone with God. Last year it was unbelievable and I am totally expecting to meet with Him again this year. Then, in the afternoon and evenings the women are praying together, sharing what God is doing in their lives, and encouraging each other. I am so excited to hear what God has to say to me this year. I'm sure I will have plenty to share about that when I get back. (You can look in my subject links and read about last year's retreat).

Anyway, this weekend I will be with my friend and mentor who would totally, without hesitation point out attitudes in my life that don't match up with God. We both have the same spiritual gifts and we both struggle with the same "cons" that come from the gift of discernment. We both tend to get angry over injustices towards children and other "innocents" to the point of lacking compassion for the ones who we see has perpetrating the injustice. Kind of like Jesus' "righteous anger" only I'm not Jesus, so sometimes my anger is more self-righteous than anything else. I am truly working on that, and I am excited to spend a few days under her mentoring. She has raised six children to adulthood and has one young teenager left at home. All of her children are walking with the Lord and they are absolutely some of the most godly young adults I have ever encountered. It is a pleasure and honor to spend time in their company.

I'm going to stop now, even though I didn't get to even expound on the FB quote I read this morning or what is going on in our lives as we raise our kids. Maybe I will have part 2 of this post, because right now I have got to get on with my day. I would much rather write all day long than clean the garage, but alas, it is not about ME!!! Have a great Monday!!