The warm sun and high humidity has me groggy and contemplative. We are waiting for our friends from Miami to come and visit for the night and so my house is fairly clean. I cleaned the toilets and all of that good stuff, but I like for my guests to feel relaxed, so I didn't scrub the floors or anything. (That sounds like a great excuse doesn't it?)
Anyway.....back to my thinking.....
Yesterday I didn't get to finish analyzing the quote a friend put up on her facebook, so I will make an attempt to do that now, and I will carry on until something major happens in the garage that makes me have to get up and go referee.
Here's the quote: "I'd go so far to say that the deeper we have loved God, the deeper the potential for devastation when He doesn't intervene as we know He can. But He knows our hearts and understands our confusion. Blessed are we when we could easily be offended yet choose with every shred of tattered faith not to be." Beth Moore
I really have enjoyed the Beth Moore Bible studies I have done over the years. I truly have to say that God used her study titled Breaking Free to do the final work of bringing me to Himself. That study nearly ripped me apart, and at my lowest point, He was there, waiting patiently.
When I saw this quote yesterday, it reminded me again of Maggie and Jordan. It doesn't take much to remind me of them these days, I will admit. Jordan and the kids are at the forefront of my prayers almost constantly right now. However, I still think of them, and others in my life, and even myself when I mull over this statement.
The ones in this life that we love the most have the biggest potential to hurt us. Of all the people in my life, my husband could inflict the most damage on me if he chose to do so. He knows me intimately, I have no secrets from him. He knows all the good and the bad and he knows what hurts the most. If he chose to use his knowledge against me for harm, he certainly could do that effectively. On the flip side of that, the stranger I meet on the street could say really ugly things to me or about me, but really, would it hurt that much? Should I really allow a total stranger to hurt me with words? Someone you don't know, don't care about can't really hurt you like someone you love.
Back to the quote...When we have completely and totally given our hearts over to God, and we love Him completely and we wrap our lives around Him, what happens when something devastating happens? We know that He could have "fixed" it, we know that He holds the power to heal, the power to prevent tragedy. We also know that He doesn't always do that.
I'm sure we all know someone who has said that they don't believe in God because of all the bad things in the world. It is a common argument, maybe you have made it. Let me first tell you that I am not a theologian. I am processing this as I write it, which may not be the best thing to do. There are many, many things about my God that I do not understand. I think that is a good thing...if I could wrap my finite brain around the God that I would give my life for, then He probably wouldn't be all that worthy. But you see, I can't even begin to wrap my brain around Him. I can't begin to know His ways, what I do know is that He is worthy and He is faithful....and He is good. Even when things around us don't seem "good," He is still there, still in control, and always good.
In this life, there are many troubles. Scripture tells us to expect trouble, so we should not be surprised when it comes. It is the denominational debate of the century to ask the questions, "Did God make it happen?" or "Do bad things happen because we live in a fallen world?" I'm not really going to try to answer those questions for you. Better men than me have debated those questions for centuries and still haven't come to a stark conclusion.
Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD."
I tend to believe that God falls somewhere in the middle of man's extremes. We tend to take things all the way to one end of the spectrum or the other and stand firmly there, willing to fight with our brothers and sisters over the things that none of us can prove one way or the other, rather than unite under the banner of the things that we all believe strongly. It is probably one of satan's most effective tools within the church.
Getting back to the second half of the Beth Moore quote. "But, he knows our hearts and understands our confusion. Blessed are we when we could easily be offended but choose with every shred of tattered faith not to be."
As I have watched people struggle through things such as the death of a child or a spouse, a debilitating, chronic illness, or a sudden tragedy, the thing that stands out to me are the ones who are comfortable enough with God to get angry! We all know that the worst thing that could befall us here on earth, death, is truly just the beginning of life eternal with Christ. It is exciting, it is to be looked forward to! I do look forward to it, and I know that it is not a tragedy at all for a believer to be ushered into the presence of the Lord. However, when a young husband loses the wife of his youth and when four young children watch their mother die or when parents have to bury a child, the truth is that it hurts. It is a grief that I do not have the words for. It is a loneliness and a heartache that rips at the very fabric of all that you believe. Not for the person who has gone to be with Jesus, no the tragedy is in the hearts and lives of the ones left behind. And the question that begs to be asked is WHY? Why didn't you save her God? Why didn't you save that young child? I believe that it is ok to ask those questions. God may not answer the way we want, He may say as He did to Job, "Who are you to question me?" However, He is big enough and His shoulders are strong enough to take your anger and your questions. I think people get into the most trouble in grief when they are afraid to be angry. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying rage at God and turn your back on Him because He didn't do what you wanted. I'm saying that He can still bring you comfort if you throw yourself on Him with all you have, even if you are angry, even if you don't understand.
Some things are just too big and too vast for us to understand. I know I ducked the question of what I believe about the sovereignty of God. I will just tell you that in my life, I have seen the hand of God work through my darkest moments. I have seen Him there in the midst of my pain and the midst of my circumstances. I know that He is able to do anything He wants to and I know that, "he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust" (Matthew 5:45).
I know that in this world we live in, sin is rampant. We are spiraling downward with a momentum that is truly scary. I believe it won't be long before we see the "Son of man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh." Luke 21:27-28. I have NO fear about that day. I long for it with an intensity that surprises me sometimes. However, living through loss and suffering is a different matter entirely. Those are the times that we know without a doubt that there are things worse than death. At those times we must choose to have faith, we must choose to believe no matter how we feel or what the circumstances are. I will also tell you that I believe that God has the power to control all of our circumstances. I do not believe that things happen by chance. I do not believe in luck or coincidence. I believe that any and everything that happens to me, God has a plan to work it for my good.
So, until the day that Jesus returns and truly makes all things new, then I will continue to put my trust in Him, whether I understand or not.
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