Amazing God...

In my arms I am holding the most precious bundle of baby. He is everything I conjured him up to be in my imagination, yet he is so much more. He is the perfect expression of a God who loves us so much, yet Who demands that we be more than we ever thought we could be and give more than we ever thought we could give. I will fill in the details later, right now I am feeling the emotion of it all. I am finally feeling rested enough to think a little clearer. This time last Wednesday I was as tired as I have ever been in my life - both physically and emotionally. I was bone weary tired, achy tired, scratchy eyes and empty spirit tired. But, God did not leave me there. He has restored my energy in absolutely miraculous ways. (If you know me, you know I need sleep - lots of it). Right now, I am up early and running on pure joy.

What I want to share today is a story of a lady. I'm going to refer to her as "S" from now on. "S" is a beautiful dark haired woman. She stands tall and is built like an athlete. She gave birth just twelve days ago, but you would never know it. "S" has a perfect smile, a gentle laugh, and the vocabulary of a college professor. She is a talented artist and a student of any form of literature. She lives in the "artsy" district of one of America's large cities. My husband and I met "S" for lunch in that same art district at a cute little bistro. We ate salads made of organic greens topped with fresh mozzarella and strawberries and we drank Desert Flower iced tea. We laughed and chatted about raising children and trips to Disney World. We talked about her past and the choices she has made. We promised each other that we would forever love the same little boy with the kind of love that only mother's can share.

"S" is my son's birth mom. She was nothing like we expected her to be. She said we were everything she wanted us to be.

This woman made a choice that quite frankly I believe I would be too selfish to make. She chose to give her son a chance at the kind of life that she doesn't have. She gave him up, at great emotional cost to herself, rather than keep him and not be in a place to care for him properly. I admire "S" so much. She is beautiful inside and out and the bond we now share is incredible. We love the same boy, with the fierce passion that only mother's know. I know that God is drawing her to Himself. I feel it. We will pray for this lady every single day for the rest of our lives, and one day I pray that our son will be able to see how God used him, as a tiny, tiny baby to give his "first" mommy something similar to what she gave him. She doesn't even know she is being used by God, she simply thinks she is giving him a chance at life with a family who loves each other. She is, but of course, there is so much more. Now, our son will hear about Jesus. One day, our prayer is that "S" will also know a relationship with Christ and our son will know his part in that. He will be part of helping her find eternal life, in the family of God.