Family

I want to start a series of posts on various aspects of family. My reasoning for this is simple. There is an attack in our culture on everything that I hold dear. Our world despises the institution of marriage. It despises children. This is evidenced in so many ways it would take a book to expound on them all. Abortion, of course, immediately comes to mind. The killing of babies in our world is nothing less than a modern day holocaust. Even though I can think of little that is more sinister than murder, another thing comes to mind that is an even bigger problem within the church. That is the fact that children are not looked upon as a blessing from the hand of God. Sure, Christians would say that their children are a blessing. Most people you meet in the church love their children, I don't doubt that. However, when I walk into a room, any room - a church, a restaurant, a grocery store - with my five children, the remarks are relentless. I know we create a scene, I know that it is unusual in many circles to see someone with more than two children, and I truly don't mind things like "wow, you have your hands full" - though I think that is quite a cliche comment and it is certainly unoriginal and stating the obvious. However, more often I don't get that comment at all. More often, I get rolled eyes, people who actually get up and move to a different table in a restaurant, comments along the lines of "you must not have a tv" and then the really bold ones who will say things like, "why would you have so many of them?" Yes, this has happened to me often enough to actually spend time blogging about it, and remember, our youngest is only 3 months old - I got these comments well before we even had him.

You may think I am venting my frustration and hurt feelings. I will not deny that I have been hurt by these types of comments. I have been yelled at when my baby accidentally dropped her juice and some splattered on a ladies' shoe. I have been asked what would possess me to have "so many" and then "keep" them at home all the time. (As if we are running a jail.) However, actually, I am at the point in my life now that I can assure you these comments do not hurt my feelings even one little bit. When they come at me from the "world" (ie: a person who is not in a relationship with Jesus) they make me sad, but also excited to have an opportunity to share my faith. I get to tell that person exactly What, or more accurately Who, would possess me to have "so many" of them. I can do this is total and complete love now, because I know that I have something that person truly needs. Something that satisfies for all of eternity.

When these comments come at me from the "church" (ie: a person who supposedly is in a relationship with Jesus) I will be quite frank and tell you that it makes me angry. I would hope righteously, but truly I do not deceive myself enough to think that I have "righteous anger" down pat. It also makes me so terribly sad. Sad because the person asking is first of all maligning the testimony of God when He said that children are a blessing from the Lord and blessed is the man with a quiver full of them. Sad also because I know for a fact that this person is missing out on a myriad of blessings. Yes, having five children and home schooling them is the hardest thing I have ever even thought about doing. There is nothing that compares in emotional and physical exhaustion. However, there is also absolutely nothing in this world that I could ever receive more blessings from doing. There is no career, no amount of money, no amount of travel and no other selfish ambition that could reap the blessings that I am reaping by training my children up in the way they should go. I have absolutely no greater joy.

Our world does not appreciate children, yet without them, there will be no future. God instructed us to be "fruitful and multiply" yet most people only replace themselves and many are choosing to be childless. It wasn't that long ago that children represented blessings even in our own country. No one would ever dare think of "blocking" those blessings from arriving every couple of years. Now, however, there are websites that actually list the reasons why you should remain childless for the rest of your life. Every single reason stems from a heart and soul of pure selfishness. And if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, selfishness is a sin.

I do realize that many people are not able to have children. The pain of infertility is very real. I personally know several families with a "full" quiver of one. If this is you, please do not hear me saying that you are wrong. It is the attitude about children that bothers me the most. Children should be viewed as gifts from the hand of God, whether He blesses you with one or with nineteen! For those who are not able to physically bear children, the option of adoption is there as well. I can personally attest to the fact that once that baby is placed in your arms, the circumstances of his or her birth fades into the background. There is no difference in the child of your womb and the child of your heart. They are one in the same.

I also want to say one more thing on this subject before I close. Ultimately, the size of the family is up to the husband. As the leader of the family, I fully believe that he alone will answer to God in this matter. If you are the wife and your husband has said no more children, then I believe it is your duty before God to honor his wishes. I do not believe that you have to take any form of birth control that is abortifacient, that is causes an abortion. Most birth control pills and IUDs work this way. That would go against my conscience before God, however, there are many other ways to prevent conception. I believe that the husband will be the one that stands before God on this issue and as the wife, I will answer for the way I obeyed my husband. There is nothing to say that I can not pray diligently that God would change my husband's heart to be open to His will for our family size. I can also personally attest to the fact that prayer changes hearts on this matter. I have at least two children that would not be here if it didn't!

I'm going to close this first post on the issues that face God-fearing families today. I will be adding more under the heading Family.