Play Nice

Not that many people read my blog, so I have honestly never had to endure a nasty comment. I know I have said things on here that some of you don't agree with, and that is ok. You don't have to agree with me. Originally, I started this blog simply to write. I love to write, I love to "think" (over think most of the time), and I don't have time to write books. The one I did finish never made it past the first draft. Therefore, blogging appealed to me. It can be as long or as short as I want it, because it is MY blog!

After a little while, I realized that I did want my blog to count for something. I would love for it to encourage someone in an area that I am passionate about - a vibrant relationship with Jesus, a healthy marriage, home schooling. I know sometimes I am harsh and sometimes I am encouraging. That is really the crux of who I am. I'm not necessarily proud of the fact that I am not always gentle and encouraging, but I'm being honest here, and both here and in "real" life, I'm just not. (Ask my kids).

Anyway, I read several other blogs regularly. Some are personal friends and some are blogger friends. For the most part, I am not a techie type of person. I really don't like the internet, but I do understand that it is here to stay. I really like snail mail, but I rarely write anyone a letter anymore. I really prefer "real" friends, but God has, over the past few years, brought "online" friends to me at regular pace. Many I have eventually been able to meet and most I know I will meet in Heaven. I think He is separating the wheat from the tares and He is allowing many of us to connect and encourage and pray for each other, even if we never meet this side of eternity.

However, with all of the anonymity comes the tendency to just blurt out whatever runs through your head. I have the same tendency. By nature, I am really a non-confrontational person. I get tongue tied in a face to face debate and I really need to polish my public speaking skills. I communicate much clearer in writing. As I read other blogs, I realize the natural tendency to criticize and divide in the comments that people write on other people's blogs. It has gotten to the point that I feel the need to write about it myself.

I read the blog, My Charming Kids, written by someone who has coined herself "McKMama." You may or may not have heard of her. This lady is an amazing writer, a talented photographer, and the very busy stay at home/homeschooling mom to five really young children. She has had struggles in her life - a very sick baby, her own health issues, a rocky marriage. Things that many of us have dealt with. She has probably also done some things in her "former life" that she is not proud of. God knows I have too. I venture to guess that so have you.

You know what else I have ventured to guess? We women are a catty, backbiting breed of human. We are nasty when we get jealous. The quote "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" can apply not only romantically. It can also apply when someone else gets more blog readers than you do. Or when someone else gets paid money to advertise on their blog. Or when someone else is able to raise $10,000 for charity in a single afternoon.

Then, all of a sudden the overwhelming urge to dig up dirt and post it about someone else becomes, well....overwhelming. The urge to spend hours of your time arguing on the comment section of someone else's blog over petty nonsense just consumes you. I do not understand the cattiness. I do not understand the colossal waste of precious time. I do not understand the need to bring others down.

McKMama recently posted a blog post about some pancakes that she made with her children. In her kitchen, spending her money and her time. Her kitchen, where she is allowed to cook or bake or blend up anything she wants to. The pancakes turned out beautifully colored and bright (like her personality) and her children ate them. She decided to share the delightful activity with her readers, along with a picture. She was attacked with the most unbelievable nastiness I have ever seen in my life over the picture of these pancakes. She was accused of enhancing the photo to fool everyone into believing that her beet puree actually made the pancakes red! First of all, I say - so what!?!?! She is allowed to enhance any picture she wants for her blog! (Which she didn't even do, by the way). Secondly, I say that apparently the ignorant people who started this ridiculous argument have never eaten fresh beets, because they make everything they come in contact with red - even your pee! (Sorry to be gross, but these things are potent!)

This line of commenting ensued for person after person. Accusations, mean spirited words, backbiting that sounded like any argument I have ever refereed between two five year olds! It was ridiculous and embarrassing to me as a Christian lady. I can not believe that this is where we have come to as a gender. Attacking someone over the color of their pancakes! Give me a break.

Anyway, I just could not help but write this today and encourage any lady reading to please think before you speak, and like your Mom used to tell you, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." (I think Thumper said that, too). And if there are any men reading, I am really sorry that somewhere along the way, we females have lost our softness and our gentle spirits. Somehow, we have let the enemy invade our hearts and our homes so thoroughly that we are rough and course and just plain mean. It is unbecoming and unladylike and truly, it is not a wonder that you have a hard time "understanding women." I have a hard time understanding us too, and I am one.

God's Word says something about people like this, "Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. Titus 3:10

I am pretty sure McKMama has better things to do with her days than dwell on people like this. Ladies, we only have a short time to raise our children up to love the Lord. The days fly by and soon you have children headed off to college and your time to influence them is much reduced.

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." Ephesians 5: 15-17

Be wise, ladies. Do not let the enemy make you divisive and nasty. It really is an ugly trait.

Oh, and just as a side note, we made McKMama's pancakes - not because I didn't believe her, but because it just sounded fun. And it was. And they were every bit as colorful as hers. Except she is a better cook than I am, because I cooked mine too fast and they browned over the color a bit. But, I learned my lesson and I know what to do the next time. So, check them out. And do not bother to accuse me of color enhancing, because I am NO photographer and I would not have a clue how to do that!