Prickly

Life can be a bit prickly sometimes.  Like this cactus.  See those starbursts of "prickles" all over it.  You do not want to touch this thing.  It is really cool to look at, but man does it sting if you reach out your hand!  Sometimes I don't want things to change.  I want my life to be comfortable.  The past few months of my life have not been comfortable or cushy.  In fact, in many aspects, it has been prickly and sticky.

However, now that we have been here, in the Valley of the Sun, for a couple of weeks, my focus is coming back.  I have been looking at the big picture of our lives from too close up.  Staring at the "painting" that God is making of our family and only seeing fragmented pieces.  The too small apartment, where we don't have room to unpack the couple of boxes each that we brought with us.  The tears shed by my kids when the start missing their friends.  The loneliness of not having a place to call "home."  The kitchen where I am trying to make meals for seven people and we have three pots and two bowls - total.

This past week Stan has been off work and we have been exploring our new city.  We have been hiking, conquering 2,000 feet of rocks and ledges with panoramic views spread below.  We have driven miles out into the desert where we suddenly came upon a huge lake with water a deeper blue than I have ever seen, complete with sailboats and water skiing.  We have explored a small western town with themed shops and friendly people.  We have been smiled at and welcomed.  We have met an amazing family.  Fellow believers with huge hearts for the orphan and best of all kids that match the ages of ours almost identically, plus several more on their part.  Precious, precious people who have traveled the world over to ransom children to bring into their hearts and home.  I am in love with what they are about and can not believe that God has allowed us to meet them and become friends so sweetly.

I am backing away from the painting of our lives a little bit and the picture is becoming clear.  Dinner with our new friends, discussions about what God is doing in our lives and where He is leading us.  Adoption conversations with my husband that end, not with me in tears, but with us laughing about how many more kids we are going to have and where they will all come from.  Possible trips overseas to orphanages and each of the kids meeting a new friend.  Visiting a really good church today and being welcomed warmly by others.  Lunch at In and Out Burger that I have heard so much about (yes, I ate the whole thing - even the white bun!!).  A visit from my mother in law for Christmas.  A two hour drive north through a breathtakingly gorgeous canyon to play in the snow the day after Christmas.  Many laughs, delicious Christmas Eve and Christmas Day meals, being serenaded with Christmas carols by our children.

We are here for a reason.  I don't know all the details yet, but the more I back away from the trivial inconveniences the more God reveals to me.  It was not a job that brought us here, of that we are positive.  It was the hand of an amazing God.  He has a plan so much bigger than I can fathom.  He is showing us, one step at a time as we allow Him to work.  Psalm 37 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  He is changing our hearts.  As we delight ourselves in Him, He is implanting His desires, His will into us.  He is breaking us, all of us, for what breaks Him and we are so incredibly excited about what the next year will bring to our family.  So excited to see where He is taking us!  So ready to follow Him - to the ends of the earth!

Hiking at Squaw Mountain

View from the top

Beautiful Bryce! 

All five of my loves!
 

Me and my littlest man!!  LOVE that smile!

Happy 2012 to all of you!!