One at A Time

We may have moved across the country as far as miles go, but in reality, we stepped from one ritzy retirement area to another.  Naples to Scottsdale.  Tropics to desert.  Wealthy to wealthy.  We are surrounded here, as we were there, with wealth.  Designer shops that line the downtown, selling their art, purses, jewels, and clothes - all with  hefty price tags.  Upscale restaurants at every turn. High school parking lots lined with BMWs and Mercedes.  Medians landscaped with thousands of dollars of carefully sculpted flowers and plants (or cacti, as the case may be).  There are very few places in the country that look quite like these two places as far as upkeep and very few places that boast this much wealth per capita.

The thing that breaks my heart though is that just behind the facade is the truth.  If you rip the band aid off, what lies underneath is oozing and ugly.  A sore that no one wants to talk about.  Just cover it up and maybe it will go away.  Yesterday, I found myself almost doing that very thing.  Here is what happened.

Lyndsey and I went to Target to look for ballet shoes.  The Target closest to our house is located in an outdoor mall type shopping area.  The stores and restaurants are nice, but not "upscale" per say.  Old Navy, Barnes and Noble, California Pizza Kitchen - you get the picture.  We went into Target, had no luck with the ballet shoes (they don't sell adult sizes in case anyone was wondering).  She did find a pair of athletic shorts she needed for class.  Since I don't carry cash - ever - I paid with my debit card.  Now, every time you pay with a debit card at Target or anywhere similar you are asked the same question - "Do you want cash back?"  I always answer no.  Always.  I do not carry cash - ever.

Yesterday, I punched yes and got $20 back.  I startled myself by doing it.  Seriously, as I folded the bill and placed it in my wallet, I actually shook my head.  I had no idea why I hit yes.

But, God....

We left the store and a lady met me about half way to my car.  She said (quote), "Do you have any spare change?"  I kid you not when I say that I did not have even a penny in my wallet, so I answered, "I'm sorry, I don't."  And I didn't have any spare change.  But, I did have that $20.  I knew it and honestly, I didn't really want to give it to her.  She didn't look to be in all that bad of shape.  She was probably just lying to me anyway.  Right?  These are the things that scooted through my brain as I continued on to my car and she walked away.

Did I forget to mention that she was very, very pregnant?

Yeah.  She was.  And God was not about to let me off the hook.  Me, with my $20 in my wallet.

I got in the car and I could not stand it.  I backed out of the space, trying to put the girl from my mind and spend time with my teenager.  I looked around and saw a few others shake their heads at her.  And God said, "You got that $20 for her."

I turned the car around and like some kind of stalker, wheeled around the parking lot until I found her.  Someone else got to her first and opened the way for me.  I missed my chance to witness to her first, but God still allowed me the opportunity.  I waited while an older lady encouraged her and then handed her some money.  As she turned to walk away, I jumped out of my car and caught up with her.  I asked her her name and if she would like to share her story with me.

Sometimes you have to listen and I was not going to just hand her the money and jump back in my car.  That was too easy and I knew God had me get that money out for a reason.  She began to tell me that she lives with her parents and her two other children, ages 3 and 5 in a motel that they don't know how they are going to pay for another night.  She is eight months pregnant and has nothing for the baby who is on the way.  She was there at Target because someone was supposed to pick her up to clean for them, but they didn't show up.  She is hopeless and out of options.  She is lost and broken and in need of assistance.  She does have government aid to get prenatal care and she has been taking care of herself and her unborn baby as best she can.

Now, maybe she was lying through her teeth to me. Maybe she chooses to beg for money at Target rather than get a job.  But, you know what, that is between her and God.  This was as much about me - and I knew it.  So, I listened as this young woman told me her story.  I prayed for her and I gave her the $20 - which really isn't going to go all that far. I gave her one of my "mommy" cards - the ones I got printed to give to women I meet at the park.  It has my e-mail address and phone number on it (no address).  I told her to go to the library and e-mail me so we could stay in touch and I promised to help her get some stuff together for her baby if she contacts me.

I have prayed for this girl almost constantly since yesterday afternoon.  My heart breaks for her and she is just one.  One in this city of four million people.  One woman, struggling to raise three children alone and support her parents as well.  I don't know where the father or fathers are.  I don't know why she is in this predicament, or why her mom or dad can't get a job.  All I know is that but for the grace of God, there go I.  I was once a single mom, abandoned and penniless.  I was once down and out and if not for my parents, I don't know what I would have done.  

I know for myself, I often dream of moving to Africa to "help."  I dream of living in a place where I can make a difference.  Be of service to others.  I want to open wide my front door and let people come in for refuge.  For a meal and a prayer.  For someone to listen.  I want to watch the light of hope come back into someone's eyes when they realize that they matter and that instead of judging, someone is willing to offer a cup of cold water in Jesus' name.  I want that more than anything.

What God showed me yesterday is that I don't have to live in a third world country to serve others. Now, this is not a post about "helping those at home before we go anywhere else."  I am completely awed by the people in my life who live and serve in third world countries.  Who adopt children from Asia, Africa, and the ends of the earth.  I think that God calls us all to different spots on the globe and if we listen, we get to join in His redemptive plan.  I hope to live in a place like that one day, and my ultimate dream is to fill my home with children from all over the world.  But, I am aware that right now, God has planted our family here - in the midst of "wealth" that is actually sadly depleted in what really matters.  

"Sarah" (not real name), was overlooked by many leaving that Target store yesterday.  Many who had bags full of things they did not need and who were in too big of a hurry to get on with their lives to even notice her plight.  I was almost one of them and too many times, I have been.

Now, I am left with that empty feeling that says I really didn't do anything that matters all that much.  The $20 dollars is gone - food for five people and even the cheapest of motel rooms costs way more than that.  My heart is haunted by her face, her baby, and her other children - children like mine, who just around the corner from us go to bed at night hungry, maybe not safe.  They are one family of the thousands in this city in the same situation.

I don't know what the answer is.  I am praying that she contacts me.  I don't really know what I will offer her if she does.  Yes, I can buy her some baby clothes and diapers, but that is not the deepest need she has.  Spiritually, she needs hope and a savior.  Physically, she needs a safe place to raise her children and income with which to do it.  We live in one of the richest places on earth - literally.  It should not be this way.  It must grieve the very heart of God.

If you think of her, please pray for this girl.  Please pray for me and that just like He caused me to get the $20 that allowed me to meet her, that God would direct me in anything else that He wants to use me for in her life.  I guess this is what it means to make a difference one person at a time.  I can't change the entire world, but if I keep my heart open to receive His instruction, I get to be a part of what He is doing to change lives - one at a time.