Love Builds a Family

Ok, two link ups in one day is a little much, I will readily admit.  But, it has been a LONG week (see Open Letter Campaign post) - and I need to reminisce about a little good news.  Our littlest guy is definitely good news - so here goes!

I have wanted to adopt as long as I can remember.  When I was a little girl it was mostly it was because I thought little girls from China looked just like baby dolls and I wanted one.  Not a very noble reason, I admit, but it is the truth.

Life happened, I went to college, got married, and had four biological children.  My desire to adopt just sat there - dormant at times and full blown at others.  My husband was very open to the idea, but kept saying he didn't feel the timing was right for our family.  

On March 31, 2010 we were out on our weekly "date" night - that was a great idea that lasted maybe a month.  (We're not so good at schedules at our house)  Anyway, out of the clear blue sky he said, "I think the timing is right for us to adopt."  You could have knocked me out of my chair - and after only one glass of wine!

The next day, I called several agencies and an attorney that we knew personally.  My desire had been growing to adopt from Ethiopia.  I still think China dolls are gorgeous, but God had turned my heart to Africa.  I was busy that April Fool's Day.  I guess I wanted to get in deep in case my husband was playing a cruel prank.  I'm kidding, he was excited, too - and the kids were ecstatic!

In the same way we are not good at schedules, we are also not good at keeping up with important documents - so I had to order certified copies of everything - marriage and birth certificates for our entire family.  I did that on Day 1.

The attorney I spoke with on the phone asked me to pray about domestic adoption.  She told me about a segment of their office that was primarily matching families with birth moms from a state across the country from where we lived.  Domestic was really not on my radar at all, for personal reasons that God clearly knew I needed to get over.  I told her we would pray about it.  

My husband told me he thought we should pursue domestic.  I knew in that moment it was God speaking because I felt (a) no fear and (b) no disappointment at not going to Ethiopia (this time around).  I spoke with the attorney in charge of domestic adoptions the next day and he e-mailed me what we needed to collect for our dossier.  He told me that without a lot of stipulations the process usually takes 6-12 months.  I thought that was fairly quick and we didn't put any race, sex, or medical stipulations on the adoption - our only requirement was that both birth parents sign all of the paperwork.  We did already have four biological children, so that is often a deterrent for birth parents - we just made our family profile and prayed for the baby God had planned for our family from the foundations of the earth.

Eleven days later (yes, you read that right) - I received an e-mail that a little boy had been born across the country.  There was a picture attached - a not very flattering one, I might add.  He was a bit premature, kind of small, born with three different drugs in his system, but overall doing very well.  We received his 48 hour medical report on a Wednesday evening.   My husband came home from work for us to pray.

I need to add right here that the night before (God is SO good) this referral came, a friend of mine who knew we were in the process of adoption sent me a blog post.  She said, "I don't know why, but I feel you need to read this."  It was about a family who adopted a little boy who supposedly had tons of medical issues and who they were told would never attach to their family, never be healthy, yada, yada....  The point of the post was that our God is not to be put in a box.  He can do whatever He chooses and can use whoever He chooses to do it.  Whether or not this little boy was ever "healthy" was irrelevant (which by the way, he is healthy).  It was clear to my husband and me that we could not "choose" for ourselves what baby He sent us - we asked Him to choose our baby, just like He "chose" our biological ones.  There was no way we could say no - our baby was staring us in the face.

We said yes.

Twenty-eight days after hearing my husband say the words I had longed to hear, I was holding my fifth baby in my arms.  The one I know God created for our family.   He is precious beyond words and we can not imagine our family without him in it.

Today, he is a precocious almost three year old, who keeps me on my toes and reminds me that women my age are supposed to have teenagers, not toddlers.  We are so blessed to have both!  

I still have Africa in my heart and my oldest daughter spent two weeks in Ethiopia this summer, falling in love with the country and the people.  I still think I have a child or two there, but if not, I am pretty sure at least one of my grandchildren will come to us from Africa.

I learned so many things through the process of adoption.  God's timing and His ways may not be ours, but they are always so, so good.  Adoption is a perfect picture of the Gospel - our son is a delight to our entire family.  He reminds me daily that God is still in the miracle business and He is willing to use even the least of us for His glory.  

Patrick - Mommy loves you to the moon and back again!!

Patrick with his big sister who is boarding the plane for Ethiopia!

Patrick and Daddy

Heading to AWANA