This article has me deep in thought and contemplation today. I think he nailed it. I do want to say that I think that our world is heading in a sad and detrimental direction. This is no grand revelation, obviously I have thought this for a very long time, but things truly reach new lows when the exploitation of children becomes the focus of so much hatred.
Yes, I have read the articles that accuse believers of being "addicted" to adoption. I have read the things written by the adult children of families who brought them into less than ideal situations. These are sad cases, but they are NOT the norm. The norm is that loving families open their hearts and homes to children they did not biologically conceive, they love them with the same fierce, protective love as the ones that they did, and they are a family in EVERY single way that matters. That is what we have experienced in our family and that is what every single person I know who has adopted a child has experienced in theirs.
You know what I don't read about? I don't read about the media attacking Angelina Jolie for rounding up orphans from all over the world. I don't read about people attacking Madonna and other celebrities who have adopted children. Why? Is is because their children are any better off than mine, with rich parents who trot the globe? I think that is debatable, though I certainly hope that they love their children as much as they appear to and I certainly won't be the one to talk negatively about what they do. No, I think it is because Angelina also works for the UN and she and Brad donate millions of dollars to "feed the hungry" type organizations. I think it is because no one wants to tick them off.
Well, I don't want to tick anyone off either, but the fact of the matter is that many, many relief organizations, including the ones through the UN do not get food and relief supplies to the needy on the ground. Those same supplies are intercepted by corrupt governments and taken from the mouths they were meant to feed. We personally met someone who was on the ground and personally witnessed a worker from a main stream relief organization buying young girls for sex in Haiti after the earthquake. That was with the money that Americans donated for relief work in a devastated country. I didn't see that in the news.
What I also don't see in the news is coverage of the many many NGOs (non-governmental organizations) that are working tirelessly to help ravaged nations recover from disaster, poverty, disease. I don't see any coverage on my young friend Emma who is living alone in Uganda at 19 years old, working to minister both physically and spiritually to the orphans and vulnerable children in that war ravaged nation. Since January when she arrived there she has helped multiple children receive life saving surgeries and medical care that their families can not afford, fed many bellies, and kissed countless boo boos. She is fully prepared to live the remainder of her life in this nation - giving up her own culture to help these children grow up in theirs. There are many many more like her. No one is reporting that.
I would certainly like to ask these who are so bent on attacking us for adopting children what they think should be done with the 163,000,000 and counting all over the world? Send them some more GMO rice?? I don't think so. God created children to be in families. Yes, there are tragic things that happen sometimes. Agencies trying to cut corners and find children "cheaper," birth families who are lied to and told their kids are going away to school only to find out later they were sold into sex slavery. These things are reprehensible and inexcusable. But, they do not happen because evangelicals are adopting more children. As the author of the article points out, you can NOT cut corners in the adoption process. It is draining - both emotionally and financially, but you have to do it RIGHT.
I have addressed the international versus domestic issue before, but I will say it again. God sets the lonely in families. I thought my next child would be born in Ethiopia, but He knew our son was going to be born in Arizona. Maybe my next child will be Ethiopian or Ugandan, or Chinese - or maybe he/she will be born in Wisconsin. I don't know and I don't care. I have no underlying motive and no agenda. I, like every other "orphan lover" that I know, simply want to extend the love and the grace that God has offered me to the most vulnerable among us. Children without families. I want every child to know the security and love of a forever family. Their sweet faces haunt my dreams. Rarely does a day go by that tears don't leak from my eyes when I think of them - sad, lonely, wondering if anyone will come. I haven't been to a third world country to see this first hand, but my oldest daughter has. She has looked into the eyes of a teenager who knows his time is up and no one is coming. She has kissed the cheeks of an HIV positive baby, whose parents have died and is alone because everyone is scared of the virus she carries in her body through no fault of her own. What are we supposed to do with these children?? Again I would love to ask this question to those who attack adoption. Rice doesn't heal broken hearts - only God and the love of a family can do that.
Why did we adopt domestically? Like most of the "big" decisions in our lives, it was pretty simple. God told us to. He led us to our Patrick on a path so clear that even as thickheaded as we are, we couldn't miss it. I pray He leads us the same way next time. It wasn't any kind of domestic versus international belief system - it is ridiculous and divisive for us to separate ourselves into these types of categories. A vulnerable child is a vulnerable child - I don't care where they live. As for the argument that children need to stay in their own nation, that is ludicrous as well. In a perfect world, maybe. But, clearly we do not live in a perfect world. If we did, there would be no adoption at all. Those who want to attack can pretend to live in that fairy land all they want, but the reality is that there is adoption. It exists because of death, disease, poverty, and sin. It will continue to exist until Jesus returns because our world is getting worse, not better. Children will continue to need homes and families and in the end which nation they live in is not the most important issue. Not when you lay it up against food, shelter, safety, and love.
Finally, I guess one of the other attacks going around is the claim that we adopt children to evangelize them. The author addressed this one right on the mark, but I can't help but add my two cents.
Seriously????
Yep, that's all I can think of to even address that. There are plenty of ways to evangelize and many of them include sacrifice, time, money, etc... (See my friend Emma's blog). However, I can not think of one instance I have ever heard of where the sole reason for adopting a child was to evangelize him. Patrick is my son. My SON. Do I want him to love the Lord with all of his heart? Of course I do. Do I tell him about Jesus and His love? Of course I do. I would have to truly hate him not to tell him that. And there is no one on the face of this earth that I dislike that much - much less my own child. I shudder to think about any one of my children not coming to a personal relationship with Christ. I have given my life to train them up in the way they should go and there is no sacrifice too great. But, I greatly resent being accused of adopting a child in order to evangelize him. It is almost laughable it is so ridiculous. He is not a "mission" or a "cause" - he is my son and I love him to the moon and back - no matter what he does or does not do, though my daily prayer is that he surrender his life to the Lord. I feel that way about all of my children, but that is not why I had them and it is not why we adopted.
All in all, this article is not really surprising. The enemy hates adoption and he will do anything to cause division, anger, and attacks. Yes, in a very limited way, the critics have a point to make - but, personally I don't see it as relevant to the point at all. Evangelical adoption is NOT the reason there is more sex trafficking and abuse. These things definitely need to be addressed, but they are totally separate issues from evangelical adoption. Evangelical adoption is NOT taking away all the children from any particular nation - in fact, in many nations evangelicals are adopting the children that their particular country calls "damaged" or "unworthy." Evangelicals do NOT adopt simply to evangelize.
Jesus warned us this would happen in John 15 when He said, "Do not be surprised when the world hates you. Remember it hated me first." I will continue to advocate for the orphan because I will continue to choose to believe with all of my heart that most people who take the time, energy, emotion, and money to adopt do it because they love the children that God places in their families. These children need forever families and God clearly told us that pure and undefiled religion in His sight is to care for the orphan. Patrick is a blessing and a delightful addition to our family - he has brought us infinitely more joy than we can ever hope to bring him. His birth parents are heros in my book - they chose LIFE in a culture that glorifies death in the form of abortion. They made the right decision and we are honored that God chose us to come alongside them and love the son that they loved first and that will now forever have a place in all of our hearts.
Adoption is an amazing picture of how much God loves us. All the attacks just prove to me that it is close to the very heart of God. Otherwise, satan would leave it alone. I don't care what kind of negativity the enemy and the world throw at adoption - I wake up every morning lying next to a physical reminder of how much God loves the orphan, and how much He loves me to allow me to be a part of it all. My sweet boy's face is all the reminder I need to keep shouting from the rooftops that our God reigns and adoption rocks!!!
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