I haven't blogged in so long and I have so much to catch you up on in our lives (if anyone is still reading). Our oldest started college in August and I have much to say about that. They are doing well and I will write more about how I am doing later.
Stan's company sold to another company so there are changes on the horizon in that regard as well. We are waiting on God's timing, so that's about all there is to say on that.
School is in full swing for Lyndsey and Graham - again, we're hanging in there.
Patrick is growing by leaps and bounds. He is a delight to our entire family and truly, we all credit him with holding us together these past two years. This move has been the hardest thing we have faced as a family - and Patrick has made us laugh every day. For that, and a million other reasons, we thank God daily for drawing us down the path to adoption.
I have started participating in a BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) class this year. I have never attended BSF before and oh my goodness - God is ripping me open. We are studying Matthew and let's be honest - all Christians have read Matthew. It is the first book in the New Testament and one of the gospels. I have read it to my kids a dozen times at least. I will be honest, I was hoping for Revelation or something like that. But God......He knew that I needed Matthew. Oh yes, I did. I needed to examine my own life. You see, I have been a church goer my entire life - my sister and I the only youth in the Sunday night services our entire teenage lives. I was quite a little Pharisee. I have been a true follower of Jesus with a living, active personal relationship for 17 years. He is everything to me now. Everything. I don't go around murdering people, committing adultery, and stealing things. At least I didn't think I did. Well, let me tell you - God has insisted these past few weeks that I take a deeper look at myself. That I realize that I am WAY worse than I think I am. That truly, deep down, I am still a little Pharisee. The difference now is that I HATE it. I have no desire to live that way and I surely have no desire to raise five more little Pharisees. He is cleaning me out and yes, it is painful - but, I am so humbled that He cares enough to do it. It is ALL about Him and what He has done on the cross - I can't follow all the rules, I can't be good enough - but, the point of the Gospel is that I don't have to.
You see, I am way worse than I think I am, but God's grace goes way, way deeper than I have ever dared believe.
So, with that in mind I want to share just a quick personal story that God used to illustrate to me that He can and does use anyone. We don't have to fully understand, even the basics. Oh, the faith of a little child.
I don't like to share very much about the things we "do" for others because truly it is not about us and all of our righteousness is as filthy rags anyway. Everything we have belongs to Him. So, please do not hear this story as one of telling what we "did" - please hear it as the telling of how God uses even a little child and then in His graciousness He allows me, as slow as I am sometimes, to get a life illustration from it.
A couple of weeks ago, my parents were in town and we went to Costco. Anyone who knows my mom will not be surprised - she loves Costco and they don't have one close, so we were just browsing around. We have some dear friends here in town who have a daughter Ruby - you can go over to their little spot in cyberspace and read all about her and the rest of their treasures - A Place Called Simplicity. If you read today's blog post you can see that our little friend has been selected as the Ambassador for the Arizona chapter of the Cerebral Palsy Foundation. Ruby is a miracle straight from the hand of the Almighty. And Ruby is Patrick's very special friend. He calls her "his girl," he loves it when she comes over and he has never ever even asked why she can't walk. He stands and talks to her, he loves to make her smile. He has NO clue she is any different from him - or if he does, it makes him love her all the more.
So anyway, we were walking through the clothing section and they had an entire rack of beautiful sparkly dresses. Patrick was transfixed in front of this rack of clothing - his eyes were shining. He said to me, "I have to get one of these dresses for my girl Ruby." I told him I thought they were pretty and we thumbed through the rack, but honestly I wasn't thinking much about buying one. We started to walk away and he pulled me back. Now, the miracle is, he did not throw a fit (which believe me, he is capable of), or cry - but, his eyes were shining and his feet were planted. By this time, my mom had come up and he said, "Nannie, my girl Ruby, she needs one of these dresses." Of course, Nannies are different than moms and my mom immediately said, "Well, then we must get her one." He chose a beautiful hot pink number with crinoline and silver polka dots.
I took it to Ruby the other day and of course her mom thought it was precious. We chuckled over Patrick's insistence on the dress and then their 14 year old daughter walked into the room. "Mom," she said. "We have been praying for Ruby a dress for the gala." Linny's eyes grew wide. There is a special banquet to honor Ruby in November for the Cerebral Palsy Foundation and they have been seeking God to find Ruby a dress. Of course, I had no idea she needed one.
God - the huge, Almighty, Creator of the heavens and the earth, the omniscient, all-powerful, all knowing GOD - reached down and prompted the heart of a three year old child standing in a Phoenix, Arizona Costco. A three year old, that but for His grace, would not even be part of our family. He moved Patrick's heart on behalf of another of His precious redeemed, previous orphans to send her a beautiful dress that her family had been praying for. I can not wrap my mind around that. Tears flow as I even type.
Friends, He uses anyone He chooses. Whether we even comprehend what He has done for us. Patrick is still struggling with whether Jesus lives in his heart or his tummy. He is still struggling to figure out the difference is what is "real" and not real. Mickey Mouse is not real, yet he sees him on TV. Jesus is real, yet He is unseen. My little guy asks deep questions. His heart is ripe, his spirit is willing, but he is not there yet. But, God used him anyway. And He wants to use you - and me. In all of our weaknesses and all of our failings - He died for us, He covered our junk, and now He can use us to make this world a better place for as long as we have to endure it. He can use us to show His glory to every man, woman, and child.
I don't know about you - but, I want to be used by Him - every single day. I want to plant my feet like Patrick did and listen to that still small voice and not give up until I obey it. What about you??
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