Open Letter

Dear Moms Who Think My Marriage is Perfect and my Kids are always "Happy" --

If you are one of the seven (yes, SEVEN) ladies who wrote to me last week to tell me how "inspired" you are by my Facebook pictures of my family, please read this.  If you did not write to me and say that but have ever looked at my Facebook (or anyone else's) and thought it, please continue reading.

I am the blessed Mama of five utterly amazing kids.  I am also the blessed wife of one handsome and amazing husband.  Stick with me......

I am the blessed Mama of five kids and the wife of one husband who can drive me to complete and utter distraction.  They are utterly NORMAL - probably a lot like yours.

I realize how blessed I am to have "normal" (whatever the heck that means) teenagers.  So, if you are one with truly troubled teens, my heart breaks for you and I know that there are plenty of bloggers and other Moms who can come alongside you as you walk this terribly painful journey.  I know you love your kids and I know you are a strong lady and a good mom.  I can't really speak to your heart today and I just want you to know that I am truly sorry for what you are going through with your precious son or daughter.  Please find someone who can encourage you and please know that you are not alone.  On the flip side if you are one with teenager that just skips through life, no hormone fluctuations, no melt downs, always exuding the joy of the Lord with a clear complexion and a pure heart -- well, I certainly can not speak to you, and in my experience, no such person exists on the planet - teenager or otherwise.

So, this letter is for those of us in the middle.  Putting one foot in front of the other every day.  What I want you to understand is that yes, my kids are awesome - but SO.ARE.YOURS.  There is a big difference in that and "perfect."  A BIG difference.  My kids are not perfect and neither am I.  Sometimes we laugh a lot, play a lot, and dance a lot and sometimes....we don't.  This can change minute by minute.

I want you to know our "secret."  It is simple really.  In this life, it is ALL about Jesus.  This is the only thing that I really care if my kids walk away with.  The one and only thing.

And practically speaking, I have one more "secret."  This is it - I promise.  We forgive each other.  Every time.  Over and over.  NO.MATTER.WHAT.

So, there you have it.  The McLemore Family secret to success.  I really don't have anything else.  I get through my days the same way you do.  The very best I can.  Sometimes my kids fight and they have been known to speak to each other with a tone that makes me shudder.  They aggravate the baby just to hear him cry, they run through the house with absolute disregard to the damage they are doing.  They bang up walls, break things, throw things in the house, make messes that I won't recover from until I am a grandmother - if then.  They don't pay attention when I try to teach their school lessons, they pout, they melt down over silly things, and they slam their bedroom doors.

Then, about five seconds after all of this I find them curled up on the sofa, arms and legs entwined with each other - watching a movie.  I find them sitting with their baby brother building a Lego creation or reading him a book.  I see them tossing the baseball in the driveway or splashing in the pool amid screams of laughter.  One of them comes up and puts their long dangly arms around me and snaps a selfie and then posts it on Instagram with the heading "My Best Friend."  I don't deserve this life.  I don't deserve for these five human beings to love me so much.  I am a flawed MESS.  I promise you that much.

And my marriage....well, that deserves its own post.  Stan and I are as different as any two humans on the planet.  We literally have nothing in common, except the desire to raise children that love Jesus - and believe me when I tell you we have totally opposite opinions on how to accomplish even that.  For us, the forgiveness "secret" is what keeps us going.  We just move on.  We don't get "historical" when we have an argument - we get over it.  We have fun together - except when we don't.  We love each other because we believe that love is a choice.  God has blessed us with a family and He has given us the charge of training them in the way they should go and modeling a marriage that represents Him well.  And frankly, often I feel that we mostly don't represent Him well, except apparently on Facebook.  The pictures that my very talented photographer daughters post are genuine (maybe my wrinkles are edited out) but the smiles are real.  I love Stan to the moon and back and I have no doubt that he loves me.  But, those few who know us well would laugh that anyone accused us of having a "perfect" marriage.  In fact, the reason I am writing this is because I don't even want to give off the perfect vibe.  We are not perfect in any way -- but we are forgiven and because Jesus gave His life for our forgiveness, we choose to forgive each other.  Every.time.  Every.day.  Every hour if need be.

My oldest kids are moving into their "grown up" phase of life and yes, they are doing phenomenally well.  But to me, "phenomenally well" means they love Jesus.  That's it.  They got the one and only thing I tried to impart for their first 18 years.  They are not always happy, they mess up, they are scared and confused and sometimes angry and depressed.  They don't always make the right choices - but, they walked away from our home with Jesus.  That is all I want for the next three.  Just Jesus.  In Him alone will they find their security, their joy, their very lives.  In Him alone.

So Moms, if you are reading and you thought our lives were perfect - then I am sorry to burst your bubble.  Or really, maybe I'm not sorry.  Perfection is something that none of us can attain - if we could, then there would be no need for Grace.  And friends, there is a huge need for grace.  In all of our lives.  So, if I can leave you with one thing as you raise your children and strengthen your marriage it is this - just give them Jesus.  Extend to them unlimited, scandalous GRACE.  After all, isn't that what He extended to you??