I want add a little something to my previous post on Youth Groups. As I am so guilty of doing over and over, I feel like I wrote that post without as much prayer as I should have put into it. I did pray about it before I wrote it, and I'm not going to take it off or change it, because I stand by what I said. However, as usual for me, I get over emotional about things and I say things that come across as "holier than thou." I truly, truly do not mean to do that, and I apologize to anyone who felt that my post was condemning. That is not my goal.
However, as I said, I stand by every thing I said and I am not going to change it. What I am going to do now is offer a little something else, from my experience. I have two children who are almost sixteen years old and one who is eleven. Three children who are the age for "youth group." My oldest two, who are in tenth grade this year have never been to traditional youth group at all. They have been involved in plenty of "youth" activities - though we prefer to use the term "young adults" for our children. I am not in the business of raising children - I am in the business of raising adults, and I intend to have adults to show for our years of home education.
Most cultures throughout history have children and adults in them. There has never been much room for "teenagers" or "youth" -- America invented this term from what I understand and in my opinion we have paid dearly for it. We have decided to go back in time and have children in our home and then adults. If you are not capable of acting like an adult, you are treated like a child in our home. When you are ready to grow up, you get treated like an adult. Having "teen" attached to the end of your age is NOT an excuse around here for bad behavior. Believe me, I remember the hormones raging in my body at thirteen years old -- you could not pay me all the riches on earth to go back to that age (and I'm sure my mom would be thankful!). It was a horrendous age, I wish all of my children could skip right over it - for my sake and theirs! However, usually at thirteen, we are still functioning in the children stage around here. Our thirteen year olds do not usually make the best decisions and they do not typically show that much maturity, therefore they don't have all that much freedom. By fifteen I expect to have adults. It is amazing how much they mature once the hormones level off. Are they perfectly mature adults - no, which is why we refer to them as "young adults." They are making fairly consistent wise choices, but there is certainly more room for maturation. They begin to have a little more freedom, but we pull back if they prove they can not handle the freedoms they are awarded. Freedom to have fun and fellowship with friends, freedom to have a Facebook, freedom to play volleyball at the beach -- these are privileges, NOT rights. When you prove you can handle the responsibility that goes along with those things, you get to do them.
So, what does that have to do with Youth Group and what is my point? Well, in my experience youth group is not about training adults to spiritual maturation, therefore, it does not go along with our family mission statement - so we don't participate. What I feel led, after more prayer, to share with you today is what we do want to accomplish with our children and how that has played out for us over the years.
We want our children to leave our homes, mature adults on mission with Jesus Christ. We want them to be broken for the lost and we want them to have not only knowledge but wisdom. We want them to be about justice, but also about mercy. We want them to be willing to stand up for their faith - to whatever extreme God wills. To do that, they must own it. It can not be mine or their dad's. They have to be able to meet this world head on and they have to KNOW what they are about. We have seen absolutely NO consistent evidence that American churches are up to this task. In fact, latest stats show that 86% of "Christian" high school graduates walk away from their faith in college. I could write a book about why I believe that is, and as much of it stems from government schools as it does youth group -- but, youth group is not making that much difference. The children coming out of them still do not believe in the basic truths of our faith. I'm sorry, but the truth is the truth.
What we have seen over the years is that when our children walk with the wise, they become wise - when we leave them too long in the company of "fools" we start seeing foolish behavior. The Bible says that "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child." My children have enough foolishness of their own - they need no encouragement in that area!
My encouragement to you today is to find your young adults companions that are being raised to love Jesus with all they have. Friends that will challenge them to total purity (not just not having sex before marriage), friends that will challenge them to live outside of themselves and do for others, friends with a heart for the lost. Then, when God calls them out to witness for Him and to share Him with that person they meet in the grocery store or at the mall, they will be ready, willing, and unashamed.
The young people of America are ready for so much more than they are getting. It is shameful to think that sixteen year olds are so shallow that the best they can do is memorize John 3:16. Give them meat and they will eat it. They know that we are dumbing them down and it makes them angry! They know that churches and schools treat them like babies and they will drink milk forever if that is all they are ever offered. You would be amazed at what your "youth" can handle and the ideas that they have. Paul told Timothy not to let anyone look down on him because he was young. Jesus' own disciples were likely no more than "teenage" boys - and at first they acted like it -- but, Jesus saw their potential and He used them to launch a revolution that is still moving today. My fear is that in America it is fizzling out - and though I know that it will NEVER die, it could be sweeping our nation in miraculous ways if we would guide our young people to unleash their full potential. Don't hold them back with shallow teaching....let them fly! They can do it. I've seen it in plenty of young people in our circle of friends and I am starting to live it now with my own! They want to do great things -- they simply need to be trained. These will be the best years of your life as you light a fire in the hearts of your children and then watch them burn for Christ! It is exciting stuff, and the American church needs to hear it! We have held our young people back for far too long, and as I study Roman history this year with my children and I see the debauchery and the idolatry that so mirrors our own nation right now, I tremble for what my children and grandchildren will have to face. I want them to be ready.
Tertullian, a philosopher soon after the time of Nero said this, "The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church." I pray that Jesus will return before the blood of the church begins to spill in America, but I think that we have been complacent for far too long. It is spilling all over the world and I think we are remiss to believe that we should be spared. I want to be ready and I want my children to be ready to spread the gospel of Jesus wherever they go.
I have a dear friend who has a son in college. This young man has been trained at home by his parents to love the Lord and be willing to go wherever he is called. Currently, he truly feels that he will be a missionary is many places, ending up in Jerusalem to die a martyr. This is a handsome, vibrant nineteen year old who feels strongly that his mission will end in death in the name of Jesus Christ. Do you know any teenagers who think like this? I am very excited to say that I do know a few, and my goal is to raise at least four more. Not that have to die, my mother's heart prays that I don't live to see that day, but that are willing to endure whatever God calls them to do.
I'm going to end now, but I wanted to add this encouragement to you because you need to have a goal, a mission for why you do the things you do. Not because you have to justify your decisions about your children to anyone else, but because it helps you and your children to know where you are going. We can't run this race randomly, we need the goal in sight - the mission that God has called you on. You run because of that, you run in order to win the prize. Run hard!!
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