Part 2 - "Youth Group"

As I sit here to write this post I am thinking that maybe I should research the "history" of youth group in America and give you some facts and stats on the origin. I'm not going to do it though because frankly, I don't care where it came from, I am only going to address where it currently stands. Our family has chosen not to participate in traditional youth group activities, however, just this week I was talking with some moms whose oldest children are the age of "youth group" and the whole subject came up. I told one of them that I would write my opinion of it all in a post.....so here it is....for what it is worth, my opinion of Youth Group.

First of all, I want to say that I know that some people truly feel like they began their spiritual journey in a youth group of some sort. I have heard many stories and know many people who feel this way. Some people do not grow up in church going families and some people have no experience with church until they show up to youth group on Wednesday night. I understand this and I know that there is a need for this type of evangelism. I am NOT saying that I think youth outreach programs should not exist or that I am not thankful that someone is called to witness to the young people in our midst. But, let's call it what it is - it is an outreach. It certainly must have originated for the same reason as Sunday School - to reach out to the unchurched in a less formal environment.

It seems to me that the first problem is that no one calls it what it is, and therefore, well meaning Christian parents who have been told that their middle school or teen aged child "should" be in youth group, send them there because they think it is the "good" thing to do.

Well, like I am so wont to do, I have to ask the question that no one in authority likes to be asked -- WHY? Why do they "need" to go to youth group? Why "should" I send them there? What are we missing in our home that you intend to fill in for me at youth group? I have yet to get a straight answer to that question....and I have asked it many times, I can assure you!

Sputtering young, twenty-something youth pastors, with no children tell me that they need to interact with their peers. Got it covered. They tell me that they need to have Christian friends. Got it covered. They tell me that they need to do a Bible Study. Every, single day our main text is the Bible. Finally, in frustration, they tell me I am overprotective!! No doubt about it!

My point is this, for our family, we believe that God gave us, the parents, the primary responsibility to train our children in godliness. We certainly also believe that they need to interact with others, both adults and peers, and that they need mentors and wiser men and women in their lives that they can talk to. However, every youth group I have ever experienced, both as a youth myself, as a youth worker in various churches, and as a parent deciding whether or not my children will attend --is geared around an entertainment mentality. I have seen night club themes, rock concert themes, Wiis and other video entertainment systems, kids in bathing suits playing various water games, pool tables, arcade equipment, sofas with boys and girls lounging on them together....

Please don't hear me say that I am against entertainment or fun. My kids own a Wii, a ping pong table, and various other gaming systems. They get together with their friends and play volleyball, Manhunt, and water games at the beach. We have plenty of fun and fellowship, but we call it what it is. And ALWAYS their "fun" is appropriate -we do not lounge on the sofa with members of the opposite sex, we do not wear bikinis and white t-shirts and run around with water guns in the name of "youth group activities."

The bottom line is that we do not think that delegating our responsibility for the spiritual welfare of our children is the right thing to do. We have worked very hard to see that our children have "iron sharpening iron" friends who build them up and stretch them spiritually. We have seen no evidence that traditional youth group could do anything for our children, except perhaps bring them down. That is not a chance I am willing to take - quite frankly, I have spent too many hours and too much blood, sweat, and tears (well, tears at least) to grow them to where they are and I do not need to send them to "church" to be entertained.

I am sure that not all youth groups are this way -- maybe you have one that offers true spiritual growth for your child - that is great. You do whatever you feel led to do, just do it with discernment.

If I don't know you personally, you are probably now wondering if my kids sit in the house all the time and if they just walk around spouting scripture. Well, read some of my other posts and you will see that we have a house full of Daughters of Eve and Sons of Adam around here. No one is where they need to be - including mom and dad! God is still working on us....but, we are making progress and I am not willing to have it undermined. We also are a family that loves to have fun - we travel, we laugh together, and we play -- we do not sit at home all the time and recite Bible verses.

We have done many things to "substitute" for our lack of youth group. Sometimes it is just a pot luck event where several families get together, bring a dish to share and "hang out." Parents are usually in the house and the kids - all ages, probably around 50 of them - play games in the dark, set up a couple of speakers and dance in the driveway, sit around and chat, or swim if a pool is available. Just have fun! We also have a monthly book discussion group, where we meet for dinner together, then the kids play for an hour or so, we have a discussion for an hour or so, and more "fun" after that! We have done many hours of volunteer projects, from fundraiser car washes, to stuffing envelopes at the Pregnancy Resource Center. All of these events lead to water play, laughing, and lots of fun! They are also teaching our kids to move outside themselves and do hard, hot, monotonous work for someone else -- for no money!! Of course, all of this is in addition to the hours of tennis and volleyball they play together, the various specific Bible Studies they have done, the speech/debate club they are members of with its many hours of preparation and competition and yes, FUN! Plus, there are the holidays we spend together -- New Year's Eve fireworks and Manhunt until midnight, 4th of July, and Thanksgiving.

Our kids have friends that they work with, play with, and learn to love Jesus more and more with - not on Wednesday night, but every single day. This is what I believe we were created for - to live in community with other believers and then to reach out to the lost and needy that God puts in your life. All the time - every day.