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"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

147,000,000

That is a big number. A huge number. That is the estimated number of orphans in the world today.

I read some statistics today in World magazine that were very sad to me. Adoptions to the United States from overseas are declining. They were at an eleven year high in 2004 with 22,990 international adoptions completed. In 2010 there were only 11,059 adoptions. That is a dramatic decrease.

I do know that quite a lot of that is due to issues within foreign countries that cause adoptions to be lost or take years and years to complete. I personally know families who long to bring their children home from other countries and simply can not legally get it done. I also know a host of families, including ours, who have adopted domestically in 2010. Those adoptions are not included in these statistics.

I am thrilled when I hear of another child who has found his or her forever family, but I am equally saddened by the continual stream of children who have not.

I know I have already told you about this blog, but if you haven't already, go to Home With Lucy Lane, and watch the two videos on the side bar. One is "Lucy Lane's Gotcha Day" and the other is "One Year Later."

My heart is so burdened for the orphan lately that I can hardly think of anything else. I'm not sure why I don't just shove this desire to adopt again WAY down deep inside and absolutely forget it, because seriously, the spiritual warfare around here is INTENSE. Even my kids can to see it. I think they surprise themselves with the sheer amount of time they spend bickering some days. It is crazy. However, I am so thankful that through it all we are able to see it for what it is. We are all memorizing Ephesians 6 in Classical Conversations this year, and now we are working on the verses about putting on the armor of God. When we start off our day particularly bad we quote verse 12 especially, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." It helps to remind ourselves of exactly who it is we are fighting against, and freeing to realize it is NOT each other. Then we can move on.

I don't mean to give the enemy too much credit here. I realize that my children, like myself, are sinners and bickering is certainly not always the work of satan. The flesh left in us is certainly capable of sinning with no outside help at all. However, since we adopted P last April, we have had one spiritual attack after another. There is no doubt in my mind that satan is after families.

Just as certainly as I have always been convinced that adoption was in my future, I am also convinced that somewhere in Africa there is a child that belongs in our family. Born or unborn I do not know. All I do know is that when I watch that video I recognize that my heart's desire is to stand in that place one day and have one of those beautiful ladies from the orphanage hand me my baby. The one that looks nothing like the rest of our family. The one that, like Patrick, was born in my heart.

I made a promise to my husband and myself when we got home with Patrick that I would never badger him again about adoption. He has a working Holy Spirit and it is not me. He is perfectly capable of hearing from God without my help. However, these days, I have no temptation to badger. It is clear in his eyes. Every night when he walks in the door and Patrick's face lights up and he squeals, "Da daaaa!" Of course, those moments were just as sweet with our other children, but now our hearts are burdened for the orphan.

Tonight we watched the "One Year Later" video on Home With Lucy Lane. I sobbed, as usual. Graham sat with us and said, "Mom has watched this 100 times and she cries every time." Stan sat and wiped his tears. He tried to do it discreetly, but when the last section of the video began to play a song with the lyrics, "What are you waiting for?" and ended with the question, "What is He whispering to you?" I thought he might tell me to go ahead and call the adoption agency.

I think the part that rips my heart out the most is when I look at the pictures that people received as their "referral" pictures. Typically the babies just don't look so good. They are often malnourished, heads are shaved, sores on their faces, and often flies are swarming. It is just pitiful, I don't know any other way to say it. But, there is a light in their eyes. All of them. Something that says, I am not giving up.

"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come for you."

Or if I may take a little liberty with this verse, because I am fully aware that it is out of context here, maybe God is saying to these babies, I am sending someone to you. Someone who will love you and show you the way back to Me. I am sending you a Mommy and a Daddy. I am sending you sisters and brothers to love you and feed you and dress you in warm clothes. To tell you about Me. The One who is going to rescue you.

Always on the blogs I read, the referral pictures are sitting next to the current pictures. Three months, six months, or a year later. The difference is shocking! It is a physical picture of what love can do. These babies still have that light in their eyes, but now it has a name.

Hope. A future. Love.

No baby should look like these pictures. No child should be so starved, literally and figuratively. Not as long as there are members of the body of Christ still walking the earth. Not as long as He lives in us.

Some people have asked me, and I'm sure many others have wondered - why? Why would we want to ask for more spiritual warfare? Why would we not just stop now with our five beautiful healthy children? Why push it any further? Are my days not hard enough? Do Stan and I realize that we will be old before all of our children are grown? Do we know we may never have an empty nest? Don't we think an African child might struggle with identity issues?

The answer to all of those questions is the same as the answer for any question. In a word: Jesus.

Jesus is the reason I would open myself and my family up to more warfare. Jesus is the reason that five children is just not enough. Not when there are millions more that need a home. Jesus is the reason that I got through the really hard days with two children and He is the reason that I will get through them with more. Jesus is the One who gives Stan and I rest and time alone when we need it. Not before, but always on time. We know that He will continue to do that. We also know that old parents are better than no parents and if He continues to give us children when we are old, we will rejoice as Abraham and Sarah did. After all, He is the one who numbers our days. Jesus is the answer to all identity issues. Every person struggles with identity issues as they grow up. I did, and I see it in my teenagers now. This world is a struggle and growing up is hard, no matter the color of your skin. The answer again, is Jesus. He is the One in whom we all must find our identity. If we are in Him, we are children of the King, and heirs to the throne of grace. We are all adopted.

No sacrifice was too great for the One who saved me. How could I possibly tell Him that children are too great a sacrifice for me? How dare I say that time alone, a cleaner or bigger house, or more vacations are too much to give up when I look into the eyes of these babies? When I see that light and that spark of determination. Determination to survive until someone comes.

"For I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you."

Send us, Lord. Send us.