Happy 13th Birthday!

This is my youngest daughter. She turned 13 last week! Thirteen is an age that strikes fear is the hearts of parents (especially parents of girls). I understand your fear, I remember clearly when I was 13 and there is not enough money on the planet to make me go back.

However.....

Fourteen years ago when our oldest children were three, we decided to take a different approach to raising our children. Albert Einstein said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." We decided that it would be "insane" by his definition to allow our children to attend the same schools that we attended and expect a different result than our parents got from us. Please don't get me wrong, we both had parents who loved us and wanted the best for us. Neither of us was raised in a home where no one cared about our education or our upbringing. Simply put, we were raised in areas of the country and at a time when public school was the only option our parents knew about. No one home schooled then (at least not in the areas we lived in) and there were no private schools near by.

Personally, I look back at the quality of my education and it was ok. I went to college and did well. My husband could say the same. He started out a little shaky, but he finished with multiple graduate degrees and he did great. The issues we were trying to avoid were spiritual and moral in nature. I look back on my teen years with great shame and much regret. I do not blame my parents, they were loving, kind and always there for me. I blame myself for the choices I made. However, I do know that peer influence is a huge factor in the life of a teenager. You feel powerful in numbers and at a time in your life when you are vulnerable and self-conscious, a group of kids telling you that alcohol numbs those feelings holds much weight. A guy telling you how pretty you are and how much he "loves" you takes you to places you wake up very sorry you went.

We did not want this for our children, yet we wondered if we could really avoid it. My husband has a friend who says, "You can't build the fence high enough." Well, I'm here to tell you that you can. Or better yet, you don't have to build a fence at all when they own it for themselves. The key is that your children have a real and a personal relationship with Christ. That they long for him and run hard after Him and know that He is everywhere. The "fence" is just for boundaries when they are young, until they learn to trust Him. I thank God for my friend Pam who suggested that I do a little research on home schooling. I thank God that when she suggested it, I did it. I didn't tell her she was nuts, or I didn't have the patience to do it, or I thought my kids should be "salt and light" in a public school setting. God used her simple sentence to literally change our lives! The more I read, the more I knew that this is the lifestyle I wanted for our family. Thankfully, Stan felt the same way. Long story short, we embarked on the best decision we have EVER made for our children.

Back to being thirteen. Does home schooling eliminate teen age hormones? NO! Does home schooling eliminate teen age identity issues? Not totally. Does home schooling eliminate the entitlement mentality that plagues our nation's youth? Again, not totally. Does home schooling make the tumultuous teen years all roses and rainbows? Heck NO!

However, what it does do is give your children a safe home base during those years. They have to find themselves and they have to make mistakes, but being together for so many years before that thirteenth one gives them a long time and many hours to build solid strong relationships with their siblings and parents. It gives your girls time to know and believe deep down that their Daddy loves them more than any teen age guy is capable of. (Their earthly daddy and their Heavenly Daddy). It gives them time for you to be the one to talk to them about the sexual relationship between a man and his wife and why it is holy and good and right - at the right time. For you to be the one to tell them about drugs and alcohol and peer pressure. For them to build a strong, solid foundation on the rock of Jesus Christ. This foundation will twitch a little during these hormone laden years, I can almost guarantee it, but I can also tell you that it will NOT cave. If they know in Whom they believe and they have parents who are living what they claim to believe, they will be ok.

We have two 17 year olds. Just typing that makes me tremble. They are for all intents and purposes adults now. They have done great. We are so proud of them and who they have grown into.

This post, though is about our next in line. She is now 13. She is moody sometimes, she cries for no reason sometimes. She looks in the mirror and doesn't always like what she sees and sometimes she looks in the mirror and likes what she sees too much! All this in ONE day! If you have teen age girls you know what I mean. Truthfully, though, she is beautiful, she is compassionate and sweet. She loves her daddy and me and she loves her siblings. She is solid in her relationship with Christ, but still has far to go. She is flawed, as we all are, but she is making strides each day in the right direction. I KNOW we will be ok.

Lu-Lu, you bring me joy each time I look at you. I love the way your huge eyes fill with tears when you encounter anyone who is hurting or in need. I love to hear you sing to yourself and I love watching you play with your little brothers. You are growing into an amazing young lady and I thank God for you each day.

I will end this with my favorite verse pertaining to our home school. I grabbed a hold of this verse years ago and I have it literally hanging on our wall. Whenever I feel like I am not capable of doing this one more day (which is often) then I go to this verse and I know that my job is to obey. My Savior's job is to bring peace - and He always does.

"All your children shall be taught by the LORD and great shall be the peace of your children." Isaiah 54:13